=neverbeenough.(I Give Up) Poem by Elizabeth Tyease Collins

I ache for the feeling of acceptance,
nearly clawing and hungering for more,
I sit upon this floor looking at the time going
ticktocktick and wondering, 'What the hell am I living for? '

My heart I'm holding in my hands
I slowly realize once more,
as I look up at the time I see in the morning
it's a quarter after 4.

The numbness is crawling back to me
welcoming me with open arms,
and I, only a troubled servant,
accept it, it can't do me wrong.

Who am I to walk this earth for?
When I'm only here to save the world,
I'm here to make the world a better place
and help all that adore.
I'm sitting here with my cape and tights
and never complain once,
but I know as strong as I seem to be, in my head I think
'I want to give up.'

I sit here engulfed in my thoughts,
lost in time and space,
watching my life pass me by
without a second glance.
If only I had something to live for, to keep me going on
if only there was someone here to hold me, to keep me safe and warm.
Am I stuck within a web of my emotions
or am I stuck with my cape and tights
that instead of having someone defend me
I always have to fucking fight.

So I'll sit on this floor and I let life pass me by
while I'm left all alone with my cape and tights,
left to wonder the world and not sure if my left is familiar to my right.
If I'm wrong to feel such strong emotion of being able to open
then you can take my cape and tights and shove it,
because I can't live this life
living with lies
when I know inside I'M hurting.