My Bumhole Poem by Phil Soar

I sometimes think my bumhole travels up and down my crack
It's the only explanation for the stains upon my back
When I sit upon the toilet, sometimes poo sticks to the top
My bumhole's facing downwards, so it's crazy it don't drop
My aim is almost central, but that doesn't seem to matter
Sometimes my poo explodes, and the pan receives some splatter
Perhaps I need a surgeon, and should have my hole re-spaced
Before I sit, to have a shit, and it hits me in the face!