Mis-Placed Cravings. Poem by Kim Dang

and we put up these barracades/these fences
to let no one in when our defenses
are clouding our senses
our minds are telling us to go
when no one really knows where this is mis-leading
i'm finding that the more I need
it's more horrible because I'm feeding
my own demise/so I gotta be wise
compromise with my emotions these oceans
they yearn to learn and churn, they burn
to know what they're getting in return
even though it's always the same ole
games they'll be playin'
always breaking the rules/these hormones
they're displayin' the wrong signals
but i'm hopeful to make the most of
what remnants to recover
I'm hoping to stay hopeful and wishing
that it's not just something or another
an illusion to satisfy some temporary high
to keep me going, keep me satisfied
for the time being, BUT, I'm still needing
content, context, emotional fulfillment and it's not
just seX that i'm looking to
explore, it's so much more
to undermine when it's time to
lift my insecurities to reveal
that blatant part of me
cuz deep down I'll keep being the same type -of
girl that have been writing the same lines and - i uh
know sometimes i won't be accepted but godamnit
I am what's in front of you
asking permission to be - me.
even though i don't need your permission
because i don't really need -you
it's wanting you that provokes me to
type this
to write things with my mind
and joggle my brain to make it rhyme
it's this effort channeled into something else
than just school, clubs, rules that I'm
tastin'
and it tastes great, inside I'm hastened
to get it again.
because man o man...I'm getting that misplaced craving again.