Mess Poem by Ashvini Swamy

Beyond the shattered remains of a day and the hopeless sparks of light
I wait for renewal; I wait for a promise to be fulfilled.

What happened to the boy who they said holds such potential
But my soul is tainted as I watch the world with new eyes and old lies

Mother said you are my salvation, you give my life purpose
Me? But understanding simple things was hard enough

How do I begin to end this desperation

From the corners of the night day oozes again
And I am afraid of all the things still undone
Of things that must be laid to rest
Of torments
Of nightmares

They say life would be easy if I get a girlfriend
Easy?
But I search not for a soul mate but a soul.
What would I bring to a relationship - what could she take away

Pain became second nature; a facade to hide behind
And my skin crawls to think what has become of me
A morbid morsel that should be spitted out

Hope has a funny way of turning into frustration
Upheaval is something that I want on the outside not in
Could there be a better way of dying each day

Then mother calls again…….
Oh! Darling please be the answer to my prayer
How can I be the answer when I am not even worth a question?

WHATS GOING ON! ! !
Do I expect too much or too little

I want to get rid of it all……
I have already started with my soul