Loved, Yet Unloved Poem by Jessica LaDuron

the phone rings,
yet i make no move to get it,
they can wait, this can't
my hand hurts like hell
and i need to clean up the mess,
before my parents get home
and so i take my blood soaked towel
and head for the fire place,
the one place they will never look,
i watch as the towel disappears, into a pile of ash,
i look at the clock, and yelp in surprise,
its much later then i anticipated,
they will be home in 10 minutes.
i quickly put away the pill containers,
doesn't help much
seeing as how they are empty,
but i put away all my tools, and head to my room,
the one place i might actually be safe.
i hear a car door slam,
and the crunch of gravel as they walk,
but i make no move to greet them,
they know where i am.
i try to put on a face that doesn't portray how i really feel,
i can't let them see me like this
my mother walks in the door,
and asks me how my day went,
i try to lie,
and tell her it was okay,
and she leaves,
i know she is disappointed in my answer
i sink down into my pillow,
i was too blind to see the love in her eyes,
hear the concern in her voice,
i was dumb to think she doesn't care,
when the truth is,
she cares more about me then herself
but maybe,
she cares too much