Lost Poem by grace mariner

How sad it is to see the look on your face when you hear me say those words!
Those same words that kiss and tickle my ear like an angels wing!
But through the joy of love comes the pain of loss...
you must leave me.
And my own impulsiveness, my need to be connected to what I love,
may be what drives you away from me forever.
A bitter potion to drink.
My dear sweet love.
My gentle giant.
My beloved Master.
Like a whisper of smoke you will be gone...were you really ever here?
A sleight of hand by a cruel magician will make you disappear.
And it is expected that I will move ahead but I am stuck now and you haven't left me yet!
My house, my world, crumbles around me as my heart crumbles inside of me.
You plead emotional ineptness for a lifetime of pain and lies.
I plead the same.
Damaged goods the two of us.
Your discipline keeps you together while my lack of it tears me to pieces.
You are calm
and stoic
and quiet.
I am erratic,
histrionic,
screaming.
I am more alive, more me, when I am with you.
I am undamaged.
Skin to skin or sitting with you...either way.
When you go, that will go too.
It is all or nothing.
And I tell you I will be okay.
But I know the truth.
I will never seek another you because there is no other you.
I will survive damaged from the battle I've lost.
I will give my psychic pain some distraction by searching for Mr Goodbar.
I can only inflict emotional pain on myself.
I'll find the one who can inflict the physical.
The rest will follow suit.