Like An Adolescent [revised] Poem by Margaret Alice Second

As yet I cannot bend my head around the concept we must
accept duty entailing burial of things we love and enjoy;
I thought wrongly as I grew that promoting imagination
and beauty would be my privilege one day

Teaching left no space between reality's steel outline and
innovation which creates beauty in mind, sound and sight;
life seems to be losing all aspects of joy and love, so I'm
on a quest is to find those things again

I want to capture meaning and harmony beneath visible
structures - communication is a dead end; at present
language obscures truth and music - like an adolescent
I feel like crying there is no understanding left

I don't understand people or books anymore; though
convinced there must be beauty and meaning in what
people say, I cannot decipher codes they use to convey
feelings that must underlay their words - it seems

Doing good comes as a double-edged sword and every
good deed is a sudden stab in the back - I'm confused,
we're not supposed to dream of oblivion and death as it
will happen without our request or consent - but now

I need time to adjust until confusion leaks out of me and
I'm ready to face a one-dimensional reality I share with
everyone - though I still believe creativity as an ideal
remains alive in all human minds


[ORIGINAL: ]

Cannot bend my head as yet around the
concept we have to accept duty entails the
burial of things we love and enjoy, I wrongly
thought as I grew up promoting imagination
and beauty would be my privilege one day

Teaching left no space between the steel out-
line of reality for the innovation which creates
beauty in mind, sound and sight; life seems to
be losing the aspects of joy and love and I'm
on a quest to find these things again

I want to capture the meaning and harmony
beneath visible structures - communication
is a dead end, language obscures truth and
music at present, like an adolescent I feel like
crying there is no understanding left

I don't understand people or books any more,
though convinced there must be beauty and
meaning in what people say, I cannot decipher
the codes they use to convey these feelings
that must underlay their words - it seems

Doing good comes as a double-edged sword
and every good deed is suddenly a stab in the
back and I'm confused, we're not supposed to
dream of oblivion and death as it will happen
without our consent and request - but now

I need time to adjust until the confusion has
leaked out of me and I'm ready to face the
one-dimensional reality I share with every-
body - though I believe creativity as an
ideal is still alive in all human minds