Letters I Never Sent Her Poem by Amar Agarwala

I wrote to her many love letters
Dipped and drenched with my emotions,
Laced with sadness and sheer loneliness
When missing her left me pained and lovelorn.

How I wish I had sent them
So that she too would know how I felt,
Count broken fragments of my fragile heart
And see if any pieces matched her own.

Yet, despite of all my longings
Despite the fact of my desperate love,
I refrained for some reason deep within -
It was some secret not spelt out by my soul.

And like I always did, I heeded it
Listened close to its unsaid whispers,
And kept the treasured emotions with me
To be read by me once again someday.

Strangely, when I would feel lonely and lost
And sit with remainants of my fate,
Imagining she was reading my love notes
With those dark, deep lovely eyes of hers.

Then imagining a tear or two in them
A flicker of sadness across her fair face,
Her hands a tremble holding the sheet -
Nay a lettered shroud over my lost love.

Such musings helps me pass my forlorn days
Its therapy will heal me not I know,
Yet I try the concoction time and again
Just to keep alive at heart her love.

Like a mausoleum keeps alive the dead
In sweet reminiscences of another day,
Hibernating over flowers put at its altar -
Strange therapy for the dead and the mourner.

So I too visit the shrine where she stays
Where hovers her phantom like presence,
Which I hallucinate awaits me eagerly
For a sojourn into fantasy.

She'd know this not and would stay unread
These letters of mine to her - laced with my love,
Getting yellower with time on fragile sheets
Like unseen, un-smelt flowers in the woods lie.

Beautifying the world of love for lovers
If for nothing else for the sake of love,
For it is no barter where one expects return
As love is heaven's gift to the heart.

Which must be shared, given and spread
And someday, somewhere, sometime it will
Come back for that is cosmos's unsaid rule -
You only get back what you give!

Therefore, I post my letters to her
Into a post-box called eternity,
For I know they will be carried forth
Where destiny awaits with baited breath.

To give them all back in another lifetime
From another her, drenched in endless love,
A love which I have longed for across infinity -
For the letters will be finally received, read and cherished.
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