It Will Always Be Still For My Own Good Poem by RIC BASTASA

last night i was almost caught

do not ask me what it was

i was almost caught and my body

shook like a vibrating fork and my

mouth shut off like a door and no

matter how she tries to open it

something inside me refused to

let her in.

if she caught me, i could have known

how the Sphinx did the extinction upon

itself.

somehow there was this ambivalence

if i were caught i could have been free.

but i was not caught

and so i remain in this self-imposed enclosure

i feel safe. But i am unhappy.

there are always two sides of our choices.

but i trust my instincts. Whatever i choose

it will always be still for my own good.

last night, i know that feeling, how to live

and how to die.