Gabriel Gauci Maistre

(Pieta, Malta)

I Don't Know If You Knew


I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel happy
Remembering those fun moments we had together
How it would bring me joy to make you laugh
To make you smile - Bright up your day
How I would enjoy seeing you every day
Having long conversations together
How it would please me to pleasure you
Make you feel like a queen - Treat you like royalty

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I yearn
Remembering that amazing friendship we shared
Shocked at how horridly it suddenly ended
Shocked at how cold you treated me
I yearn for that strong friendship we shared
Like no other - Like every other
I sometimes ask myself why it is that I still do
After finding out your true self
I guess I'm just a fool - Loved you too much

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel love
Thinking of you - Your beauty
Feeling that there's no other girl out there
Which could ever replace you
Or one to share the same love I share for you
I don't know why I loved you so much
Or is it love? - I just don't know any more

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I try to negotiate
Thinking that I could change
Change for the better
Become the man you want me to be
Get in shape - Be more fancy
Maybe one day you'd come to realise
That you've made a terrible mistake
And that one day, you'll want to make amends

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel confused
Not knowing whether I still feel for you
But in the end knowing that deep down
I never stopped loving you - Caring for you
I try to tell others that I stopped loving you
Sometimes I even try to fool myself that I just don't care
But it's hard to fool your own heart - Possibly impossible

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel in denial
Feeling that there's still a chance
I could still fix things - I'd think
It's not too late - I'd assure myself
We could still be close - As friends, of course
I could supress my feelings for you
It's ok - I'd do anything for you

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel hate
Remembering all the sacrifices I made for you
How unappreciative you were, are
I cant believe I fell for you
I'd love to know what I saw in you
Never have I been able to explain
Not to me - Not to anyone
I wish you had just acted cold from the start
Instead of leading me on for so long
What a fool I was, am

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel sad
Sad that I never lived up to your expectations
Sad that I could never be the man you wanted
The man of your dreams - Your fantasies
Remembering the times when I was wrong
Causing you to feel sad - Disappointing you
But in the end there was nothing I could do
I just wasn't good enough for you

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel forgiveness
Forgiving you for the way you treated me
How you handled the situation - Handled me
You just don't know how to handle these situations
Guys who have feelings for you - Or better yet,
Are madly in love with you - You just don't know
But it's ok - I'd say to myself
It's not your fault - I forgive you

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel regret
Remembering the first day I ever met you
Wishing I could just go back
Reversing everything that happened
Stopping me from going through this pain
Avoiding getting my heart crushed like no other
Not having to spend every day
Wishing that I never felt for you
Wishing that I had never fallen for you

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel angry
Remembering the way you treated me after
How furious it would make me
Knowing that what we had was all over
Sometimes I wouldn't be able to help it
The anger just gets to me
Sometimes I scream - Sometimes I swear
Sometimes I hit things - Sometimes I throw them

I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
I guess I've been thinking about you a lot
It's already been seven weeks
I don't know why I've been counting
But I guess I have
But I guess you know that by now

Submitted: Sunday, May 27, 2012
Edited: Monday, August 12, 2013

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Comments about this poem (I Don't Know If You Knew by Gabriel Gauci Maistre )

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  • Akanksha Bhatt (9/24/2013 3:34:00 AM)

    VOW... simply BRILLIANT... it is very nice... even it is one of my favorite poem i have ever read...
    I loved it very much.. (Report) Reply

Read all 1 comments »

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