I Could Not Say, I Love You Poem by Callisse J. DeTerre

My Very Dear Friend,
I don't know what to say, but I must say it
My Self is restless with words
so I will listen,
refrain from restraining,
speak the Truth the self conceals
I knew you before
I know you now

I left my body a couple of times
to a different place, plane -
I don't know that it needs a name
I arrived into an emptiness so full
full of what? full of light?
We engaged face to face
I felt serene, unthreatened
looking into your eyes
it seemed a long while
and you heard me say,
I Love You, though I spoke
not one word

I hadn't noticed
the light within us grew
until we were apart
but together
each a part of the fullness
that at once surrounds us and
fills us until we are emptied
of our selves
We are Christ for each other
Namaste, one Self to Another

Until now, I could not,
my ego would not
let me say what I did not say -
the words you heard, though unuttered
because I was afraid
the polluted definition of love
would prevail in your mind
and I'd lose the Love that I had
yet to feel or understand
We are Love to one another
I know Love now, but I'll forget again

So I forgive the ignorance of my
trepidatious self
who would not, could not
choose Peace
who would not, could not
say I Love You
Now I have shared the Love
shared my Self, let my Self be seen
because in this moment
I choose to no longer
fear the Conqueror of All Fear

Our world has learned to be
afraid of love; me too, but
sometimes I love you so much
I cry and that's the reason why
I have listened to my Self,
uninterrupted, speak the Truth
I love you, I Love You
Here's to the memories,
- that they remain vivid
so the words never need
be uttered again