How I Get By Poem by Paige DeRogatis

Watching all my loved ones leave me

Choosing strangers that deceive me

Giving them my trust and benefit of doubt

Naïve to what the game they play is really all about

Sucked into a lifestyle that wasn't made for me

Driven by excitement and rewards my eyes can see

Lost faith in what the future holds as it does not satisfy

Ambitions of success aren't enough to get me by

Frustrated and impatient, I want my rewards now

So I crawl into an alley and to the scums I bow

Each paycheck is flushed in a matter of seconds

I take Satan's warm hand when the lonely night beckons

Most days Im empty-handed and am often sleep deprived

Despite my lack of care, I have miraculously survived

The thrill of the chase keeps the harsh thoughts away

Maybe not for tomorrow but just for today

So I run to ignore stillness's sharp pain

Busy and moving, I go blindly insane

Never can I stop to breath and meet infamous peace

And only will I sleep when my racing heart shall cease

I'm simply a coward in a rambler's disguise

I pack up my bags when I meet heartache's eyes

Look for me in the shadows as I struggle to survive

Each day I risk my life, yet here I am alive.

What happened to the plans I made?

I've asked for courage when I've prayed

Been blessed with chances undeserved

From danger I have always swerved

Fearful of the future, I resort back to my past

& for months I have been saying "This time will be the last.."