Higher I Fall Poem by Tiffani Williams

Higher and higher I go,
until the bottom of this problem.
Drowning drowning as I travel up
becoming more and more engulfed
in this feeling of trying too hard.
for something not worth a thing
but things will never go my way
deeper in deeper into the wrong
as I try so hard to get out
and be strong.
weaker then before
but i know more
I believe less.
I deny it all,
my very best.
higher and higher I fall.
no one to catch me
flowing towards non-existence,
for I'm too willing
that's the problem
isn't it?
It always is.
my fear of commitment
Too worried of falling down,
and not up,
Falling into love.
So i self destruct
and give up.
this way it was my choice,
though I kept silent
and never raised my voice,
I took control,
Now I pay the toll.