Heroin – Epilogue Poem by Tamir Greenberg

And so, despite my promise, I've abandoned you.
You who were so dear to me, I've turned you out.
Eight hundred shekels I slipped in for you.
On March 9th I closed the door and slid the bolt.

Still I don't regret it. No. No. I don't.
Not all the money wasted, nor the hours,
Every day with you was a lesson in delight,
In the total love of now without tomorrow.

And our parting too was a kind of compulsion,
As bitter and cruel a choice as ever was.
What I want is to live. Life, not illusion.
Body and soul happy in their essence.

I do not want tranquillity or mindlessness,
The sweetness to be had from a pill or magic drop.
I gave up hoping, my gentle pleading useless,
Wearied by the long wait for taxis from Lod.

And so – why can I never sleep, tired as I am?
With no whisper of my breathing, are your nights also bad?
Relief, pangs of conscience, and love's fierce flame
Are very soon going to drive me mad.