He Did Not Come Back The Same Poem by David Welch

When Laurie was just eighteen years of age
she fell in love with a brazen young man,
rode his own bike, knew just what to say,
ever quick with a joke was her Stan,
oh, the adventures that those two had planned.
Though both their families thought they were crazy,
they married young and Stan joined the army.

The first year was glorious between them,
the two must have made love every night,
Laurie was a sucker for uniformed men,
Stan never tired of clutching her tight,
on the town the two were quite a sight.
For a year Stan served on that large base,
but the real world soon darkened their days.

Stan was deployed to fight terrorist scum
in the bare mountains of Syria,
he learned very quick to live by the gun,
to survive the evil men of Asia,
so much different than fair Pennsylvania.
Suddenly the world seemed not so funny,
his own best friend died, a cruel tragedy.

Laurie herself was having a hard time,
barely twenty and her love was away,
she needed attention, was hard to find,
many times she was tempted to stray,
for eighteen months she waited for the day
that her husband would be again in her arms,
back in his home and away from all harm.

She was standing there on the tarmac
with other families, desperately waiting,
they saw their loved ones hauling duffle bags,
and soon all was a mess of embracing,
from months of dread anticipating,
but in Stan's embrace something felt off,
she looked in his eyes and something seemed lost…

In the three weeks that followed it became clear
that Stan had not come back home the same,
he didn't smile as much, did not endear,
and didn't thrill to the sound of her name,
he seemed generally on the wane.
Gone was the bold man she'd fallen for,
he'd died overseas, back there in the war.

When he read books he'd just roll his eyes,
say, "Self-centered folk so fond of complaint."
When he'd see young people larking about
he'd say, "Damn fools need to learn self-restraint."
Was he serious or just in pain?
Laurie knew that something needed to break,
this grave-minded Stan she could no longer take.

After a year of trying to make it,
Laurie just could not take any more,
summed up her courage, and all of her grit,
said, "You're not the man that I once adored,
and pretending is becoming a chore.
I no longer want to live something fake,
I think it is best that we separate."

She thought he would rage, clean blow his stack,
but he just nodded with a sad look,
said, "After what I saw, I can't go back,
there are many things the war has took,
things you can't even read of in books.
I do love you, but maybe we are done,
if you're unhappy with what I've become."

She moved away the very next week,
planned for an amicable divorce,
to destroy him Laurie did not seek,
she wouldn't ruin his life in the courts,
no money did she look to extort.
She never could hate her poor, broken ex,
just had to focus on what would come next.

A month later she was dating again,
a young woman out playing the scene,
had outings with several nice men
before she found one who seemed a dream,
up-and-comer fond of big limousines,
investment banker who liked to go out,
she'd found a winner, but still felt doubt.

Trey was his name, and when he talked he boomed,
but something seemed empty in his large words,
and though he could glad-hand any room,
something about his slickness unnerved,
though not quite enough to outright disturb.
But he was so lively, and fun-loving,
she shook of the thoughts she was having.

But one night in bed, with Trey half-bombed,
he said, "Babe, you made the right choice with me.
I mean a shell-shocked grunt with so much wrong,
who thinks that he fought for his country,
now a mad dog cursed with P.T.S.D…
What kind of fool chooses to waste his life?
You were in danger just being his wife! "

Now Laurie knew that Trey was half-smashed,
but thought then In Vino Veritas.
She roared, "His service I won't have you trash,
you have no idea how much Stan has lost!
When have you ever born such a cost!
You have no damn idea what he fought for,
you never had to face down such horror."

Trey just sneered, "I see the flock you have joined,
like all the sheep out there in the world."
Laurie got enraged, kneed him in the groin,
screamed, "Then go find yourself a new girl! "
She dressed quickly as she heard him hurl.
Laurie drove away with little regret,
but what would happen now, she didn't know yet.

In the movies she would have gone to Stan
and desperately professed her true love,
but she felt terrified thinking of the man,
she no longer thought herself good enough,
and she knew now that she was not tough.
In truth she felt like a helpless child,
blind to what was real for so great a while.

For a month Laurie mulled and brooded,
even tried to think it wasn't her fault,
if Stan had just told her the things he did
maybe she wouldn't have left him at all,
but such thoughts were nothing but a stall.
The fault lay entirely on her end,
she'd failed to even try to comprehend.

But once again she summoned her courage
and went down to his small apartment,
she meant to explains the things she did,
but when he answered and she caught his scent
to his lips her own instantly went,
Stan was surprised, but her lust was strong,
so like most men, he just went along.

It wasn't until after, lying in bed,
hat the first tears came to her eyes,
He said nothing, just gently stroked her head,
didn't have to ask what was on her mind,
after several long minutes she cried:
"I now understand why you were hurting,
but it's too late, I screwed up everything."

He tried to hug her close in his arms,
but she struggled, pulled herself away,
said, "I've tasted of other men's charms,
and there is nothing that I can say,
what I've done deserves only your hate.
There's no way to go back to what we were then,
for what I did, I can't be forgiven."

Stan shrugged and said, "So tonight was just you
trying to give me a pleasant ‘so long? '
I don't buy that, because if it were true,
you wouldn't be feeling the pain this strong,
would not want forgiveness for your wrong.
You want to still love me, but don't know how,
unsure if you'll love the man I am now."

The words struck her hard, and she stammered,
he just put a soft hand to her lips.
"There is no need to get so bothered,
I think that there's a solution to this,
I have an idea and this is it:
If some love remains, come back tomorrow,
we'll take this by the day, and see how it goes."

Laurie didn't think that this plan could work,
but she found herself each night coming back,
she didn't know how he didn't feel hurt
at the compassion that she had lacked,
but every night they'd end up in the sack.
Before long she'd left her apartment,
in fact she never left Stan's bed again.

Wasn't long before they called the lawyers,
said they weren't needed anymore.
Laurie looked back on what they were
and saw glimpses of what was in store,
taking on the demons they abhorred.
Stan wasn't the same, that much was true,
but no longer was she a cowardly youth…