(growing Pains) 5.At The Pond Poem by Janice Windle

(growing Pains) 5.At The Pond

Rating: 5.0


This is a crisper, more structured and concise version of 'Feeding the Geese'

All the geese swanning over
and one greedy duck
gooses her for the bread
she holds behind her back....

We're not expecting that...
It's all very well
if you're defending Rome,
but.....

And here (8th October 2008) is the final version of 'At the Pond' - a combination of the above and the long first draft - 'Feeding the Geese':

Goosed at the Pond

All the geese swanning over...
Where's the bread?
The Tesco bags
of stale loaf, pieces
apportioned to each
little alms-giver.

But how could we foresee
these geese
would be
so forthright
in their greed...

to come up and
goose you
for the bread
that you
were throwing
to them!

It's all very well
when you're
defending Rome,
but...

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Onelia Avelar 06 October 2008

I am fond of short forms of expression and maybe that is why i prefer this concise version of the poem and especially the joyful mood of its first stanza. I wonder what would it look like if you paint it? It would be wonderful in your favorite colors. I already imagine...

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Kesav Easwaran 30 September 2008

Nice imagery using few crispy lines...an abstract message painted along with a colorful image...good piece, Janice 10

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