Treasure Island

Allan Gerard


God's Schedule


Their words spoken to me
Held me down and drew me
Like a picture minus a thousand words

Stolen secrets those thieves
Passed around and proceed
To pawn away the rest
Of all I have that's good

The hands of time are bound
Like my legs held down
Gasping as I drown
In sweat from all around

Filled to full, less feeling
Staring at the ceiling
The thought to prays appealing
But God's not at work

It's Friday the 13Th I'm thirteen
Exchanged my fries for a sundae
The prize I gained
Was the loss of my whole world

(Alternative Version In Writers Notes)

Submitted: Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Edited: Thursday, January 16, 2014

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

It's Friday the 13Th I'm thirteen
Exchanged my fries for a sundae
The prize I gained
Was the loss of my whole world

Their words spoken to me
Held me down and drew me
Like a picture minus a thousand words

Stolen secrets those thieves
Passed around and proceed
To pawn away the rest
Of all I have that's good

The hands of time are bound
Like my legs held down
Gasping as I drown
In sweat from all around

Filled to full, less feeling
Staring at the ceiling
The thought to prays appealing
But God's not at work

It's Sunday the 13Th I'm thirty
God must be working O.T
I'm on my knees praising him
While this preacher massages my perm

Comments about this poem (God's Schedule by Allan Gerard )

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  • Natalie Evans (7/12/2014 1:11:00 AM)

    This is bloody brilliant! The ending is a profound little stop. I truly enjoyed this. Thanks. Cheers! (Report) Reply

  • Michelle Claus (7/5/2014 11:59:00 PM)

    Prefer the version in Poet's Notes About the Poem. It's an alluring poem with a very strong opening (in the 2nd version) . (Report) Reply

  • Mandolyn ... (7/1/2014 6:33:00 PM)

    very cool last strophe- lol
    i like exchantged my fries for a sundae best
    i would say the thought to pray is appealing - nice write, dude. (Report) Reply

  • Gary Kedron (1/30/2014 12:05:00 AM)

    Ed, I believe I Enjoyed the First, strong description the actually taking place
    liked it.....
    Gary (Report) Reply

  • Louis Cecile (1/22/2014 1:00:00 AM)

    The first poem has a more slower descent in pacing and ends strongly. However it appears to miss that something from the start, which is the direct opposite of the second draft. This starts strongly and gathers a quick pace, though the ending feels much weaker. A marriage between the two may help for what you wish to create. (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (1/16/2014 6:04:00 PM)

    Hey Bri on that meaning. What took place happened on Friday but because God didn't show up in that situation it felt like it might as well have been Sunday.

    Since God rested from all his work on Sunday, So it's not that she intentionally exchanged them herself but her circumstance made her feel that way.

    Drew me like a picture minus a thousand words. Plays off the saying a picture tells a thousand words. Well her picture doesn't because her picture is blank and empty a sort of nothingness.

    P'S I did like your take on it. That's great thing about art. Us as the perceivers of what the art means tell us things about are own lives, Now it's not 100%. But it goes along with the Rorschach test. Which is a lot more revealing if people are honest. Thanks again, Allan Gerard~ (Report) Reply

  • Stan Grossman (1/16/2014 3:02:00 PM)

    Second one has the sexual tension stuff going on. I think I like 2 better. Excellent images throughout. (Report) Reply

  • Melissa Robinson (1/16/2014 2:00:00 PM)

    They are both very good..I think that i like the 2nd one better. I think thats a good 1st stanza. Great work :) (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (1/16/2014 8:53:00 AM)

    Thanks Rhona! Still can't make up my mind which one I like best even though they are about the same thing they both have a different feel. i'll probably just leave both up since I can't decide =) (Report) Reply

  • Is It Poetry (1/15/2014 2:43:00 PM)

    Softened words can be written
    while hard
    while a voice spoken
    in whispers can be loud.
    And what one the each of us
    may then think
    they may then think out loud....iip (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (1/15/2014 2:37:00 PM)

    Thank you everyone for all the comments! ! I will answer the questions and address any issues brought up which should bring a better understanding =)

    Morgan what is stolen are pieces of the girls innocence she can not get back. As far as what has changed? Well the way the poem starts and the theme actually changes a bit.

    In the first poem it's story about a girl being gang-raped and losing faith in God and it ends there at the age of 13.

    In the (alternate version) it's a story about A girl being gang-raped and the effects it has on her growing into a women. Now she is 30 and on her knees performing fellatio on the priest

    If the priest is supposed to be an extension of who God is then the priest getting up his erection is working OT. Otherwise the priest hasn't helped the girl in anyway and the girl is once again reminded

    That If God exists he has a rather odd sense of timing for when he shows up and to who he helps.

    Exchanging fries for a sundae is like saying it appears that the girl traded Friday for Sunday meaning God rests on Sunday so he wasn't at work because what happened took place on Friday the 13Th

    Now it's Sunday the 13Th and the priest being the extension of who God is supposed to be shows up but what takes place is an abuse of power

    Also the prize gained relates to the Happy Meal sounding part. Fries a sundae a prize or (toy) ...

    But the irony of what was lost and what was gained was everything she was is gone.

    Now left to this world as a shadow of her former self.

    Hey Valerie the last section of the poem you commented on was written with an Ironic, Sarcastic and angry tone

    Thanks Again everyone =) (Report) Reply

  • Valerie Dohren (1/15/2014 7:56:00 AM)

    Prefer the first version Allan, without the God working OT, which in my opinion He never does, largely because I personally do not believe He exists, at least other than in an altered state of consciousness which few of us are able to achieve. Interesting and thought-provoking write. (Report) Reply

  • Poetheart Morgan (1/15/2014 5:58:00 AM)

    So, It means that times pass go by and you still remain with the same feelings....
    Now you have 30 but only that changed.... What do they stolen from you? ? ?
    Oh! I prefer the second version. Very interesting poem....lot of meanings that my eyes could not see....
    Beautiful Poet! (Report) Reply

Read all 18 comments »

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