Frank's Lump Poem by John Carter Brown

Our Frank's got a lump on his head,
He says it's his brains coming out;
Which I don't believe for a moment,
It's a rumour he's putting about.

He'd have us believe he's a genius'
He really believes it I think;
I know he's no fool, but come on now,
He must think we're green and not pink.

Just because he went on to a grammar school,
And his O levels reach to the roof,
It could have been mostly good luck, 'cos
Let's face it no system's foolproof.

And anyway what's good about welding?
(His trade for a number of years)
He tells us he made fine machinery,
But it could have been railings or spears!

Then the worst thing of all it did happen:
They upped and they made him a boss;
Good news for the board of directors,
For the welders, a grief and a loss.

Now he strolls round the room giving orders
With his whip, and I bet he can crack it;
With his white-collar duds and accessories,
With his lump, and his flippin' white jacket!

(Written 7th Sept 1994)