For The Long Haul Poem by Diana van den Berg

For the long haul, you said -
a committed relationship, you said!
Hee hee!
That’s what I thought it was
all those years ago
but only the first time.
All the other times
when we got together
when we didn’t have anyone else,
my heart wasn’t in it,
not really,
except for once
when you really seemed human
for much of the time
for a few months on end
until you gave me reason
to write you
a hate poem.

This time I thought
our chances
were
a little rosier
so much so
that the thought
of the “long haul”
especially with you
crumpled my courage.
And, yes, you seemed
almost human,
well, for almost
a day anyway.

And
our “long haul”
lasted almost
two days,
shorter than this poem,
but thank goodness
that’s all over now,
hopefully for good
this time.

I don’t think
you know
it’s over
yet.
You never notice these things
with me
or anyone else.

But the saddest thing is
that it took alien-humanoid-you
to make me realise
with a little stark comfort,
that Princess,
our office cleaner,
lived every moment
of her nearly thirty-seven years
in spite of apartheid,
in spite of deprivation,
in spite of her hardships,
in spite of her sorrows,
whilst you,
in spite of all your plans,
are just
a robot
that has
robotted
for nearly
sixty-one years,
and that there was more life
in just one of
Princess’ smiles
than
in all of your android existence
and you
will
never
be
alive
and she will
live on
in the hearts
of
so many.

(2 January 2006)