Elegy 01 Poem by Cristina M. Moldoveanu

it is mid summer I stumble like a woman
in which people have never seen the woman
ecce mulier
the summer sky opened up
there will be no more earthquakes or wars
it is nice lukewarm and easy going
things don't tumble altogether towards the center of the earth
neither the lovers' eyes nor the jealousy that haunts them
because they are happy
nor the love for thy neighbor because it is envied

*
sing a song you fiddler man
for the girl from the white little house
here where I am allowed to be myself
the others are not sincere when a lonely woman
lives as if in a train compartment
rises and falls together with the moon
(I could have caught it in my bread basket
to cut a slice of it but I am not craving)
I am too simple without secrets
my whole life I got older in a corset ball dress
singing to myself from the window
praying to my angel to make me stronger

*
how many wishes can I pretend to possess
when I have never wished something for real
it was always something more important more painful
closer to me the one without beginning or end
something that could have been
you are my brother you are my sister
I am the one who draws the gate's bolt
even if the garden is deserted
things must stay in their place laws must be respected
fences have to stand up

*
I shall buy lottery tickets to win at least a hope
if my astrological sign is lucky
if there are enough comets running over my sky
trying not to die like a soldier
I am neither man nor gardener to plough for the seed of my dreams
nor monk to sing hallelujah
ecce mulier my lord
the pain is stronger on my waist
on the upper and lower halves I already froze
enough for you to pass over on foot without breaking me

*
I went astray in another world
I will never be at home I will never part completely
I'm a shadow's bride but whose shadow I don't know