Drug Science Poem by Buddy Bee Anthony

Johnny was a headstrong young man in his twenties.
No one could tell him how to live or what to do
He learned most
everything by doing,
this learning would often be hard lessons.
He had been staying In L.A.
As a familiar, presence and another hand for his sister and her husband.
In part, to assist with their first child.
She was a busy wife as well as an attorney
who's maternal instincts
hadn't kicked all the way in yet.
.
His mother suggested
he check out, in his free time
a 12 step group meeting,
since she was attending her own
12 step support groups
Johnny decided to listen
to his mother and go.
He chose an A.A. lunch meeting not far away.
It didn't seem to Johnny too much of a
sacrifice,
since
according to his mother's support group.
Johnny's father had been a dry drunk
a rage-aholic, and a work-aholic.
His mother had more than once
referred to Johnny's dad as a criminal.
Johnny knew he had work to do on himself
Though he really didn't know yet
exactly what that work was
or where or how to begin.


At the twelve step meeting,
he listened to the first speaker.
a well dressed, and well spoken man
who sounded, to Johnny, like Peter Ustinov
reciting a 3 act play.
The next speaker stood up
and bellowed like Charlton Heston's Moses.
He was in awe of such story telling
by these clearly amazing individuals.
Johnny began wondering if he was worthy of
breathing the same rare air as these titans.
Then a sad eyed, well coifed, woman
resembling Julie Andrews
got up and told her story
She said, she'd come to A.A.
broken and desperate.
These meetings were
a last ditch cry for help.
before she was going to
jump off the high pier.
She was currently marooned
at an outpatient drug treatment facility.
a refuge for abuse victims who were
chemically dependent.
This was a different kind of theater.
You could hear a pin drop
as she sobbed uncontrollably
But, to Johnny's amazement
Nobody the room
came rushing to her rescue
Or even offered her a tissue.
They just sat, quietly, reverently, nodding
until she talked her self into silence..
then, they thanked her for sharing
and encouraged her to 'keep coming back.'
Most of these folks seemed successful,
well heeled, well dressed,
from appearances they were high value
individuals.
Fortunate sons and daughters,
except for a pesky
inability to put down the sauce.
At the end of the meeting, one of these captains of
industry asked Johnny
if he could borrow 50 dollars for lunch.
He said was short on cash and would pay him back.
Johnny felt stunned Peter Ustinov was broke.
They must not pay great actors
so well anymore...

Johnny began smoking marijuana
in Junior High School.
His parents were straight arrows
and had reputations
as pillars of the community.
Joey, a school acquaintance
had an older brother who opened his
gold cigarette case and
turned them both onto
a joint laced with angel dust.

After a few deep puffs
Johnny discovered he couldn't walk down stairs
and carry his glass of juice at the same time.
Although his legs were wobbly,
and his head unclear,
a peaceful light washed over him.
Everything shimmered
and he felt light and wonderful.
His relationship with
the entire machinery of the world
now had crystal clarity.
If only he was able to
accomplish the near impossible task
of walking down the stairs,
while bringing his juice glass with him
But, to no avail. He left
his glass on the stoop, at the top of the stairs,
while making his way tentatively down
Joey's basement stairs
Just then, Joey's mother called
Joey to their dinner table.
meaning Johnny had to leave
Having driven his bicycle to see Joey,
He now had the formidable task of
trying to steady himself, get on his bike
and ride his bicycle home
without falling down or getting hit by a car.
Somehow, he had to summon up the coordination
to traverse the dangerous miles
from the far corner of the city
on his bicycle
across three busy highways
during peak rush hour traffic.
Fortunately, the brisk wind hitting his face
began clearing his head.
It was no small miracle
he was able to make it home safely without
being run over and becoming just another
statistic, a footnote on the local evening news.
In those days, marijuana
had few if any self help groups,
Pot was considered a recreational activity.
not an addictive drug.
And yet, Johnny fell more
into a dependency relationship
with weed
which was infiltrating his entire life,
He didn't just just want the buzz,
but now needed it.
He generally didn't keep
any quantity of it around
since that would imply he couldn't
go without it, nor did he invest in
standard paraphernalia
such as a pipe, roach clip,
bong or vaporizer.
He didn't generally go for marijuana brownies,
hashish, or any sort of edibles.
He felt his use and how he used it
was his own affair.

Marijuana was his secret garden and how he kept
a competitive edge over fellow workers, employers
and his family.
Johnny did buy Ozium
which he sprayed generously.
He'd use an apple
sliding a screw driver straight down about an inch
through the top, after removing the stem
while making an incision with his screw driver
to intersect on the side of the apple
until the two incisions met.
This would create a bowl, when lit
where the stem had been
with a down flowing air pocket to the slit
sucking up the inhaled smoke through the side
hole.

If he didn't have an available apple,
he might make a pipe from an empty aluminum can
First removing the spent pop top,
then Poking pin holes into the top crease while
while squeezing the crease slightly,
creating a makeshift bowl
then slicing an air carburetor at the side,
When lighting the top, the carburator
would be covered at first, then sucking up the smoke
that was released
when the can filled up with smoke.
Grass
was a stress relieving social activity,
A non-addictive, harmless after dinner aperitif,

After all it was widely used medicinally for pain.
Known, and grown world wide, for sacred ceremonies.
It was a plant, which grew on mother earth,
natural and safe.
A righteous, healing herb.
To buy apparatus, was to admit
it had turned for Johnny, from a dabble,
an interesting distraction, into an
addictive obsession.
Could he be the one human being on earth
addicted to kind bud..
He would only buy a dime bag, or half a gram.
This was further evidence he could easily
walk away from it at any time.
no problem.
So, as the years went by, and it
became more easily acceptable,
accessable, legal and decriminalized.
Johnny's use was
becoming
and less social.
He became less trusting and formed
formed bonds with fewer people.
and showing up at fewer social functions.
His wider world kept receding.

He put distance between himself
and his family
and fled from responsibility
in his professional life
He created his own private, reality
fueled from the comfortable denial his drug provided.
He eventually became his own anti-hero.
Johnny was fairly adept at charming people
in his pursuit of more smoke. Once he had what he
needed from them, Johnny was gone.
Johnny grew his hair out and began traveling,
living by his wits. He worked tirelessly
thieving and piling up victims.
avoiding the cops,
and jailed for petty
and not so petty crimes.
One day, he saw a poster
written on a clubhouse wall.
It said;
'support meetings for
Marijuana addicts.

Johnny ripped the poster off the wall,
and soon after
attended his first meeting.
Again, there was a man speaking in the group
who sounded to Johnny, like Peter Ustinov
saying how he was scared
having lost everything dear to him and
felt like a ghost ship at sea.
Having no power over stopping his
relationship with pot.
Another man, again, bellowed like Charlton Heston
how his kids now hated him and
refused to be around him.
How, although highly productive, his boss
had put him on paid medical leave
His beautiful wife, who
he loved madly, had kicked him out of
their home because of his odd
love affair with marijuana..
Next, Julie Andrews, once again rose to speak.

Rivers of tears welled
up in her eyes as she declared her love
hate relationship with pot.
She felt shredded,
after being kicked out of her parents home.
She appeared shaken, exhausted, and unwell,
having been brutalized by her dealer.
Who encouraged her to sell her body on the street
to pay for the scraps he would leave behind for her..

Then Johnny spoke up and he sounded like
a man who was terrified that
all the other people in the room would
see what he knew was true. He was shaking,
and he was sick of carrying around his demons,
sick from his secrets
He felt weary, lost and scared.
He was pleading for a way out.
testifying to anyone listening in those rooms
and beyond, for relief.
Praying the hurting would stop.
Hoping to acqure better better coping skills,
for living a sober life.
so he might be able
To simply fall asleep and dream
in color
for the first time in years.,
place his trust in something higher
than himself for the first time in his adult life.
to pray for the strength
he can begin to
face the world clean.
To have the courage
not to scamper back to his drug
To pray for clarity.
and to live out what's left of his
life on life's terms.

Buddy Bee Anthony
re-edited 11/12/2022 @3: 04pm Pacific Standard Time
All publishing and editing rights reserved 'as is' by this author



All editing and copying rights as is, reserved by author

Buddy Bee Anthony