Change Poem by Kacey Hauck

she is the master at charades
never letting them see who she really is
once they get too close she staggers back
and does all in her power to make them leave
prefering to hurt them with lies than to show them the truth
she does this while knowing she wants them
not only wants, but needs their love
but because of her lifes teachings all she can do is run
they beg her to stay, beg her to share her demons
still she runs for fear that they may not accept her
or worse they will accept her despite her defficiency to stay
one day she stops and looks around realizing what she wants
she wants this to stop and to stop huring other ppl
now home alone in the house she walks to the liquor cabinet
grabs a green bottle praying its vodka
to her displeasure it is not. it is martini mix
she fumbles through the cabinet desperately
til she uncovers a bottle of whiskey feverishly she yanks it open
knowing th tast will be horrid and the burn fill her body
she takes a tremendous swallow of the vial liquid
it burns not only her throat but also her tongue throat nose and ears
with this oain comes a sense of pleasure
for she knows her worries shall fall with this drink
one swallow isnt enough so she has more
trying to make it more bareable by adding pepsi
now she is ready to face him. hell blazing in her eyes
she turns on the instant messenger and unleashes her fury
not just her fury but her sorrow self resentment and utter confusion
finally she broke down; ; let someone in
today was the last say she would hold stuff in.