Black Cloud Of Pain Poem by Paula TH

Why do you think I always stay home?
Because I want you to leave me alone.
As people get older they seem to reverse in age.
To be plastic now is all the rage.
It seems like if someone wants to come over.
They want something from you, it is not for your personality.
That's why I figure, let me be.
I have not been wowed over by anyone for years and if I was....I was looking over the flaws that person had.
I have a friend that pointed out to me,
that I can't even trust my own family.
Well she did not really have to tell me that,
I knew when one called my job to try to get me fired.
That family member had to be high or something, had to be wired.
One family member took me out for my birthday and my friend said wonder what they will want in return.
I sat there for a few and brain was burned.
I said what do you mean and she said I don't know what it is but you will see. It turned out after the steak dinner she borrowed everyone of my cd's. To burn into her brand new car.
It took me 20 years to make that stack of music exist,
she burned them all...now I did get them back, but our relationship was never quite the same. I found out the dinner was not for my birthday, it was for her gain. She did not need me, she just wanted something for free.
Seems like everyone I know has that monkey on their back.
I can't let people keep using me for their gain.
It happens everywhere I go. It is a black cloud of pain.