Bin The Clichés Poem by Civ Clegg

If it has been uttered before
Then it is - at the very least - poor practice to utter again
If your descriptions are not progressively more and more obscure
Then you will be considered an unworthy user of our varied and ever expanding English verse
and a suitably plainer alternative language you must henceforth ascertain
You must no longer see,
think,
nor converse in familiar phrases
At the risk of looking as though the argon or nitrogen filled orbs are emitting photons however the dwelling is vacant
All previously chartered linguistic territory is now obsolete.
We must no longer love someone “until the end of time”,
“Up to and including the eventual collapse of the Euclidian space perspective”
Will work just fine
To this judgment I would not say “tough luck”
But “reinforced fortune”
And you will not experience being “loved up”
But an “intense positive feeling of adoration continuing on a positive incline”
that’s if to this new regime you are to assign
And on that though, things do not go on any longer “between the sheets”
But – if in America “amidst the comforter”
And - if in England “betwixt the duvet, typically removable and filled with down, feathers or synthetic fiber,
ordinarily machine washable between 30 and 40 degrees”
And once there, one is no longer “counting sheep”
So they might “drift off to sleep”
But “registering ruminant mammals with thick insulating wool” in a dedicated bid to “deactivate ones nervous system and suspend consciousness in a necessary state of biological relaxation”
Or anything similar should do
There is no daily grind
Moods do not swing
Hearts do not ache
A bell does not ring
We are no longer “two of a kind”
In this new thesis we are “greater than one and less than three of equivalent species”
Be sure to note that the grass is no longer not always greener on the other side,
There can be no rotary movement of the tide
Lists must be longer or shorter than - never equal length of my arm
The best medicine is no longer laughter
The third time that something happens is henceforth insusceptible to charm
We will not all live happily ever after
You must start thinking outside the box
By adopting the rather confusing approach of avoiding thinking outside the box
And however ridiculous all of this may seem
As of now you have no original options left
Unless of course you want to just wake up and realize that this was all a dream?