Behind The Wire & Curtain Poem by AngelLucianna Vesna

It was only yesterday I thought I knew “I”...
I still have a memory of “I” from all yesterday days and
All those past endless nights...
But why now, behind these walls, wire and curtains,
I have ideas no more...no longer

Am I or was I...what the? ? ?
The kind hearted fallen Angel?
Or that lost wicked wretch?
The talented and the inspired one?
Or just a simple Manic / depressive common kind?
Spirited, gifted and connected to the most high?
May be...sadly was all an imagination or distortion...
Feeding an emphatically deep, hollow pit...

So which piece was me? Is “I”?
Which fragment is the Plague? How much more of this affliction?
This dreaded Curse is simply too much to bear...
Is my mind mine with my own heart beats?
Can my soul sing? And my blessed joy, hope and peace still mine?
Oh...My senses, my touch, my speech, my prospective
What about my most inner deep?

For how long have you been “I”! ? And has “I” ever once been even a bit real?
Shattered, crushed, disappointed, exhausted, and worn-out & broken too...
Please leave “me” kindly and so “I” now can finally be set free.
Me will be “Me”,
And I will be “I”...Whole, un-broken and guiding me in one piece.

I wish to Go forth and they said best to stop surfing the moody sea.
They call these joy filled rides – episodes...
And for these will be something I truly miss...

So good-bye, my...whom had been my inseparable and binding friend?
Friend? Or plague I no longer fret...
I must leave this place and get beyond these wire, curtain & stings
I pray from now I will just be “I”
Set my own cause and only let I remain free

So slow down I must and take just the flat easy strolls
No more joy rides and flying high...
It surely will not be easy and certainly will not seem fit

But I will trust in the Lord...n depart from...
These wire and curtains...Then...Then?
I will have to wait and see
If there will be such things as they say...
The beautiful Rainbow? And the sweet smelling Roses?
I really hope they are not all simply a myth...? ? ?

This is a poem written for me,
and perhaps for those who had been living the two “I” s from the opposite edge...
Like me...&
I