Barging Poem by Phil Soar

We hired a barge one sunny day,
And cruised the Norfolk Broads
For miles we viewed the countryside
And never once crossed swords
And yet the very placid scenes
Had led us both astray
Our eyes met as we saw the Lock
That blocked the waterway
If we should go much further
We would have to soldier on
And work ourselves into the ground
Until the day was gone
My wife was there to shout the odds
And tell me what to do
So by the time we'd motored through
The air was rather blue
I climbed back on the floating home
Just as she picked up speed
The noise from all her shouting stuff
Had made my earholes bleed
So secretly I hatched a plan
To throw her overboard
I kept her thinking things were fine
Although my plan was flawed
I hadn't thought about the bridge
That had come into view
And as she steered us underneath
I wouldn't see things through
The bridge struck me upon the head
And threw me in the drink
And she moved on, didn't know I'd gone
And all she did was blink