Waiting to die...
Polonius has a fag behind the arras.
Hamlet fancies
both Ophelia & his Mummy
pinches both
their arses
as he passes.
Ophelia looks suitably shocked.
Mummy looks rather pleased
(thought it would never come) .
King Cladius really fancies the Ghost
but doesn’t stand a ghost of a chance
because the Ghost already has a date
with Polonious’s son Laeretes.
The gravedigger fancies everyone
but alas poor yob
nobody(& I mean nobody)
fancies him!
Hamlet looking down
the Queen’s decottelage
(momentarily forgets his lines)
misses his cue.
Polonious has set fire to
the curtains in his arras
but Hamlet smells
“...a rat...a rat! ”
and puts him out of
his misery.
Afterwards they all go
for a pint
and agree it was one
of their better nights.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
The mix of fictional characters and the characters of the company is such a neat stroke. It would seem that what happens backstage is even more eventful than what happens under the bright lights. Funny, entertaining and endearing...what a jolly company of men and women treading the boards with all the perfections of the text and the imperfections of their private lives. Alas, poor Donall, I knew people like this well. Whether it is noblier in the mind... Gina XX