indira babbellapati

Rookie - 40 Points (visakhapatnam, india)

As sleep waits...


Sleep waits on the periphery

of the niggardly night, to slide down



musty night’s cousins

rustle a leaf there, flap a wing here

and screech somewhere



night’s nettled desires

prepare themselves to

perform a naked pantomime



dehydrated night felt like

a pair of dry eyes



as eye-lids droop in a mild

soporific stupor, there arises

streaks of orange from the sea



at that hazy horizon

orange smears itself

on the plaintive sky

before sprinkling on

the restive sea…



a vague aridity clutches at the throat

while the tongue and cheeks feel irksome

dryness…

Submitted: Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, July 24, 2013

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  • Rookie - 3 Points Brett Ackerman (7/29/2013 11:01:00 PM)

    There seems to be some influence of sensory deprivation which pushes your essence of life to a threshold and almost inevitably precipitates an altered state as I read this carefully. It's the kind of poem that has a well conceived primordial struggle to it paired with the mind of a certain fragility. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 40 Points Indira Babbellapati (7/9/2013 1:54:00 AM)

    Ms Shahzia Batool: The major character here in the poet him/herself wading through the black waters of insomnia as s/he watches the night taking several attires till the orange streaks dispelled it... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 568 Points Shahzia Batool (7/5/2013 9:39:00 AM)

    as sleep waits...

    Is that pantomime staged on the stage of your poem with sleep and night as the major characters? is it written with itchy dry eyes of either an insomniac or a dreamer? an animated/personified presentation of the abstractions...you have started giving a tough time but through an interesting read! ! ! (Report) Reply

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