A Night Of Dilution Of Everything. Poem by Norden Lama

Last night, I took few pegs of hard vodka,
At an old friends gathering.
Under their continuous request.
I wasn't actually willing.
However, before their incisive,
My impedance remained out of work.
But I thought I owe to have this drink...
Rough patches of my hard times.
Cos, I have read to much about it.,
I wanted to be more personalized
Few pegs was a fair game.
We were all reminiscing about the past,
The school days, the graduating years... almost everything.
But over me,
They say, I mesmerized the whole atmosphere,
Not in total frenzy way....
Actually I deliberated the things that was hurting me inside.
I talked about you -my love
I talked about our -my love.
In pensive confinement.
I realized, I was disintegrating,
And I was going for more pegs.
At my excess desire to overture,
A chasm created by your unpredicted stubbornness,
Like when you felt life got serious, you lost something
You felt that love was enough...
Eventually I was enough.
How can you ever come to this feelings?
How did you forget I too was loosing everything.
But I was trying to comprehend, I was still trying to win...
You were to me piece of my hope, aspirations, coursge everything
I never wanted to be unhappy.
or to be left alone
Wished to die under your domain
But I never expected your oppression
Yes! I was drunk.
Yes I cried under multitudes of pain in your memories.
Dear friends,
I must have bigoted over.
And my reasons to mourn may seem rubbish.
But what can I do with myself.
Fallen in love and in verb, fallen in love.
I had long owned and coveted your heart,
And I always wished to be around you.
I expressed my emptiness that night.
The more i drank the more i missed you.
The more the old wound happen to rejuvenate.
My words were shivering, strength was weakening
and I loosen all my grievances before them.
Don't know what they must have thought.
What I was and what I had become.
One person's difference.
In the throes of my every passing moment,
I have become too introvert, a person lost in his own intrusions.
Simply i was drunk
Can you come and say anything to me?
Can you come and stop me even if I drink again?
No you will not, my love...
Because you don't feel anything as you said.
At that state of my being, I said everything.
Like how you simply laughed when I was telling you how I was filling.
Actually I never wanted to.
But it seemed you exactly know how I am.
I then stopped from going to more pegs,
My friend hugged me...
Expressed angreness over your concerned code of conduct.
But I said never to blame you.
I actually could not become your hero.
I stopped.
I came back home..
to my place of sheldom,
In my solitary confinement.
it was almost 3am.
I took your photograph, the olnly one, on my chest
and I slept... sobbing three times along one deep breath.