A Letter From Baby, To Guzel (An Excerpt From Current Somniations...) Poem by Maurice Harris

Guzel,

You have pointed to MY actions as destructive; MY actions were just REACTIONS to YOUR actions; You deceived everyone BECAUSE you were scared, which pushed you away from the 'love of your life'-ME! MY actions are, and have only ever been bourne out of selfless love and and a boundless concern for you; YOUR actions, ON THAT day were the destructive actions; THEY are the only thing that caused all of what followed, for the brief time that both of us were NOT ourselves.

WHY would you destroy something so beautiful, because you are scared? All you needed to do was, say: 'Moe, I am scared! '-to which I would have replied something like: 'OK, no problem-the solution is to slow down and reassess, to ensure you are NOT scared again.' MAYBE THAT is what you should have, and what I would have, done! YOUR actions since that day tell me and the world, that you WANT to fix what YOU broke; namely, NOW, due YOUR actions, EVERYONE with a 'need to know' of MY past does (ALL AT ONCE) and THAT is dead, and? ? ? s they may have NOW, are for me and ME alone; YOUR burden is done my beloved!

I need YOU to understand that though you effectively betrayed me, as well as yourself by NOT being wholly honest about how you REALLY feel, I AM NOT angry, I understand completely NOW why you did what you did, and when and how you did it! I know more than anyone WHY! ! I know more about you than perhaps anyone else in the world, perhaps even YOU! YOU were NOT ready to come here, consort with BOTH our families under the BURDEN of YOUR secret about what HAPPENED to ME! ! I understand, not only because I love you, but because I am pretty insightful as well!

As time marches from that tragic day just before Christmas, the truth, the REAL TRUTH settles and the deceit as well as my 'baggage' fades; Speaking of such-both your past and mine have only strengthened us, they are NOT burdens for each, they are NOT cloaks behind which to hide-they ARE ways that we have learned lessons and gained much strength!

GOD and YOU and alone control both your own destiny, as well as how others view you and those you love most ardently-people are capable of much love, as you well know, through me, as well as others. YOUR friends and family effectively were MORE ambushed MORE than I, BY YOU! But again, the damage has been done, the coast is now clear and the 'drama' is gone. NOW, I only possess a 'sordid' past which includes an 'ex-wife' and TWO beautifully inspiring Daughters. JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT! ! (*as you said to me 8 January 2012*) . I HAVE NEVER seen WHAT I know about YOU as baggage, but as PROOF of your strength-now show the world how strong you really are!

Stop running FROM your love and TOWARD YOUR fear, reverse the course, er, curse and come back to friendship, then perhaps love at YOUR speed, it IS real, it IS true and YOU are LOVED!

-Baby