A Journey Of Thousand Steps Poem by Elizabeth Shield

I say I am trying, walking this road
And I do try, but I don't always try hard
A hilly road
A treacherous road
I climb to the summit, only to find
That I've only gone a single step
A single step, on a staircase
Of a thousand glittering stairs,
One step
The journey seems so long

I cry sometimes, along the way
I mostly walk alone
You wouldn't understand, how it is for me
To have life put within your grasp
And while reaching, being assaulted by your doubts
Until your arm is too heavy to lift
And when the goal is just out of reach, it falls

A journey of a thousand steps
and I don't know, if I've even walked ten
Or five
Or three
…
Those great wise guys say, that a journey like this
Starts with a single step,
They also say, that it's about the journey
Not, the destination
As if I knew where I was going anyway

The things they teach us confuse me
Who are we anyway?
Why do we act this way, killing people?
Leaving people, hoarding possessions
Like an angry mother bear, we protect what's ours
But is it ours?
And if not, who does it belong to?
Who do I belong to? And why am I here?
The questions are as empty as the wind,
It sweeps up dust in my path, blowing it off the mountain
And into the air

The air is clear up here, wind buffets the path
We are up so high, and I am scared
Such a way to fall, the ground isn't even visible
You can't hug the cliffs though, sharp
Like cactuses they cling to you
They suck you in and never let you go
Two forces pulling at me
The cliffs or the wind
Is a leap of faith the medicine I need to take?

The ground is far, I keep the path
The world has told me, that yes,
This way is better
Ah, but I doubt it,
Bitter hell is waiting at a promised end
They tell me it will be pretty, but the wind carries a different tale
Whispering in my ears, the nagging doubts grow stronger

Frustration, I scream it out
Grrr, It hurts
I'm being falsely led, the end will never come
Hope springs eternal, but I think mine dried up
The path is wider now, suffering is imminent
I look up at the hills, yep, this is going to suck
My hair flips, those pesky winds
Doubt is creeping up again, on little cat feet
Less visible than the fog, more tangible than the air
I kick at it, but it wants to pull me in

A bright light! The sun!
The path seems so much shorter now; I'll run the final mile
For sure, five steps into a thousand isn't much
But I see the next oasis
Water flows freely there, and I shall have rest
I walk on, the clouds grow up, and I leap down
The path has ended, a new one awaits me
Silly doubts they cannot follow
I fall faster than sound
The ground is soft now, but rocky up ahead
This is not the easy way out

I know I can make it, another step, another lap, another mile
Someday I shall grow wings, and then
A great wind will spring up and fly me to my destination
Because, always now I know
The wings of faith, rise up and over the seas of doubt,
And the foolish delusions cannot touch me
When I'm flying in the air