A Journey Known Too Well Poem by Jacqueline Webb

Although this is a new beginning of a new era
Somehow it feels like the center chapter of a book
Constantly looking and searching for a way out
When all my life I was trying to find a way in
A way into life as normal and liked
Only to see that I am nothing like normal
I am only I
A beautiful and unique being with many of the same issues as others
But my way of dealing is of my own
How did we become you and I
And no longer an 'us' or 'we'?
I again, in my life have gone back to loss
Loss of who I am and where I am going
What I want and what I feel inside
And yet I have not a tear to cry
I lie
Alone on my or our bed trying to see if this again is meant to be
But why am I even questioning something I was so sure of the day of “I do”
I am not different but my feelings are of ping pong
What can I do to fix this?
What can I do to heal this?
What can I do to be sure?
What can I do to be clear
Minded?
I see this is going to be another endless night
Of a journey
Only to arrive at an answer I have known
All along.....