A Creation Myth Poem by Richard Dates

In the beginning
There was this great Void;
This Void was beyond
Matter, energy, time, space, magnitude,
Or anything else.

God was in this Void;
Why? We just don’t know.
Maybe God was lost.
Where could you get maps
Of a complete void?

Being in a Void
Must have been boring;
Not much happening,
And also lonely;
Who could you talk to?

The Creator must
Have been looking for
An interesting
Thing to make happen
To break the boredom.

It had to be big!
Maybe a Big Bang,
A Celebration!
That would be big fun
And end the boredom.

So with one Big Bang
God got things going.
Things began to change.
Some things were big
And others were small.

Before the Big Bang,
Nothing existed,
So nothing had size;
And there was no time,
So nothing could change.

But there was no one
To be confused by
The Situation
So, the Creator
Set off the Big Bang.

Then someone was needed
To appreciate
The Situation,
So the Creator
Had a new Thought.

God realized that
It might be real nice
To make a bunch
Of other thinkers
To see his good work.

He started real small
With one-celled creatures.
But they were real dumb;
They wiggled around
But they were real boring.

God came up with a
New sort of Big Bang,
Called Evolution.
So little critters
Could become bigger and more complex.

The plan worked well so
The bigger critters
Slowly got smarter,
Except for the plants,
Who didn’t think much.

Now all of these critters
Got growing real good,
Looking real pretty
And enjoying God’s Creation.
Then something happened!

Some of these critters got real strong
And better at eating and thinking
Than the other critters,
So they got out of control
And started eating the other critters.

Then some of these critters
Got so evolved,
That they got really smart
And started to think and plan
About real big things.

Like talking to God
So God listened
And tried answering
But most of the time
They didn’t get it.

And they weren’t very
Nice to each other,
God knew that talking to them
Would blow up their planet,
And make them extinct.

So he tried prophets,
Angels, messengers,
And other methods.
But the always got the message
All screwed up.

People keep talking to God,
So being bored and lonely
Isn’t a problem
For God anymore,
But they’re so nasty and confused!

God has thought of getting
His own television show
But who would run it?
Would it be a talk show, a debate,
Or a situation comedy?

So every once in a while,
God get so frustrated
With this awful mess,
That having another great Big Bang
Sounds very nice!