A Change In Heart Poem by Florence Badejo

How did everything become so different?

I don't understand how this drastic change can be so easy.

It's a complete 180 but I'm still holding on.

I think I'm starting to become strong.

Things don't bother me the way they used to.

Instead now I see the change and work around it.

I'm only struggling with one change right now.

Maybe it's not even a change but just a new revelation.

I've always been able to ignore feelings like this

But I can't seem to do so this time.

I honestly have no idea how long this feeling has been there

But right now its hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I may have inertly ignored it the whole time

Not once realizing that it was there.

But now that I am freed it's like it's taking over my air.

It's all that I can think about, day in and day out.

It's filling up my dreams like a rainfall after a drought.

I'm honestly a little scared, I'm not used to being this out of control.

I seem fine on the outside but inside it's taking toll.

But it all feels so good. I don't think I wanna be in control.

Just let my feelings run wild and see what will be told.

The only thing I can do myself is keep myself headstrong

So that I can keep on feeling good no matter what goes wrong.

I know you might be reading this but you don't even know who you are.

You'll find out in the end but that distance might be far.

I don't want to keep this secret but it cannot be told aloud.

Very few know what I'm talking about so this note may seem rather odd.

I do the dumbest things to keep you from finding out

Even though they should actually tell you what's going about.

I know your smart so maybe you already have a clue

But all I can do right now is keep feeling for you.
~04/07/11~