Diane Hine

Veteran Poet - 3,070 Points (25 July 1956)

5/4 (A Curtal Sonnet)


I’m shod in black and silver sandals; slippery
-soled. A gentleman extends a hand;
we rock ‘n roll. A waltz is next but I’m
perplexed and so are my feet. The music skips;
I’m counting triple-duple beats. Outlandish
rhythm; out of step and out of rhyme.

Still, I like the song. The bagatelle
has five beat bars; I hum along. How finely
shines the diamante night by candle
-light. Only you can dance this well
Quintuple Time.

Submitted: Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Edited: Thursday, April 10, 2014

Topic of this poem: love


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Some examples of songs in quintuple meter are:
‘Everything’s Alright’ (from Jesus Christ Superstar)
‘Dance of the Little Fairies’ by Sky
‘Take 5’ by Dave Brubeck
’15 Step’ by Radiohead

Comments about this poem (5/4 (A Curtal Sonnet) by Diane Hine )

  • Silver Star - 7,886 Points Daniel Brick (4/20/2014 12:02:00 PM)

    I just finished my comment on your LAUREL poem in which I wrote about dance images coming to mind as I read it, especially with the caretaker's sheer joy, and I come across this poem, which is (quoting Berlioz, I think) THE APOTHEOSIS OF THE DANCE. I almost lost what balance I have just before the sonnet's volta when the girl is reeling from the unfamiliar waltz rhythms. But she helped me regain my balance as the music steadied her. And then I could slide across the dance floor with her in apparent grace. What a rush! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 17,104 Points Valsa George (4/15/2014 11:31:00 PM)

    In slippery sandals, doing a waltz or rock 'n roll is risky... especially as the music skips. Be careful Diana! A nice composition! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 338 Points Danny Draper (4/15/2014 5:41:00 PM)

    I loved the rhythm and will reread again to appreciate it more. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 603 Points Shahzia Batool (4/13/2014 1:09:00 AM)

    a diamante composition...the internal rhyme makes it a pleasure to read! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,037 Points Valerie Dohren (4/11/2014 5:09:00 AM)

    Very good Diane, well composed like the music. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,405 Points Douglas Scotney (4/9/2014 8:06:00 PM)

    a finely crafted rhyme, Diane. I like the 2 and a 1/2 lines it takes to get into step.
    I saw Ronda and Ketut. (Report) Reply

Read all 6 comments »

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