*004 Ode To Inventions Poem by John Knight

ASPIRIN (1899) Felix Hoffman a pill is making -
To cure you if your head is aching
BRA (1913) Mary Jacob's made the perfect gift -
To give the ladies an up-lift.
CD (1965) James Russell said scratchy records - they really annoy me - So to eliminate them - He invented the CD.
ELECTRIC KETTLE (1891) It took hours the heat a kettle on the fire -
So they invented one much quicker - heated by a wire! !
FRIDGE (1834) The inventor one fears - waited 100 years
GPS - Sat. Nav. (1978) You'll not get lost with me -
Perhaps you'll end up n the sea.
INFERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE (1859) Etienne Lenoir -
The greatest polluter of all time - by far
LAPTOP (1982) Bill Moggride now has gone insane -
he left his laptop on the train.
MICROWAVE OVEN (1946) Peter Spencer discovered it by mistake - what a terrible mistake to make!
NINTENDO GAMEBOY (1989) It's my contention - boyhood has been - sacrificed to this gross invention.
PAPER CLIP (1892) Lest your papers loose should slip -
Secure them with a paper clip.
QUERTY KEYBOARD (! 862) Latham Scholes was not heretical -
He thought it was more functional than alphabetical
RUBBER BANDS (1845) Stephen Perry made a sketch -
Of a band of rubber - with a massive stretch.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE (1897) For all BOY SCOUTS such bliss -
An Army Knife - that's Swiss.
TV (1925) Logie Baird - thought children should be seen -
As well as heard.
UMBRELLA (2400 BC) They keep you cool - they keep you dry -
Try not to poke yours in my eye.
VACUUM CLEANER (190!) Hubert Booth - my Granddads mucker -
He proved he really was no sucker.
WHEEL (3500 BC) The unicycle was replaced - we bicycles on two wheels raced. In time we all required more - so most folk drive around on four.
ZIP (1913) Bill Sandback lost his trousers on a trip - To make them more secure - he then invented him - a zip.

John Knight - Waiting for Inspiration - 7 March 2011