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Jonathan ROBiN Paris / France, Male, 57
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Jonathan ROBiN's last comments on poems and poets

  • POEM: Sonnet 1 by Biwot Kevin (9/1/2013 9:08:00 AM)

    Perhaps it might be appropriate to consider revising your work especially when entitled Sonnet and retain an equal number of syllables per line... as in this example lines vary between 8 and 13 syllables.

    The final couplet suffers also from a word missing... I ... and

    For if this love that am holding you’d see
    Your heart from your chest would embrace me

    could perhaps be revised to read something along the lines of

    For if this love I feel for you you’d see
    Your heart would leap from rib cage, embrace me

  • POEM: Battle of Will (s) by Jazzy Davies (7/29/2013 8:20:00 PM)

    Nights misty tendrils searing the senses, An apostrophe might help? Night's
    the man that walks by himself. perhaps the man who walks by himself?

  • POEM: D - Murder in the Cathedral by Gillian.E. Shaw (7/29/2013 8:17:00 PM)

    and of course Murder in the Cathedral not Cathederal

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