Critiques and Revision
(12/14/2012 7:56:00 AM)
Check this out peeps, though a little rough...your advice and criticism is would go a long way to smoothen my writings...
Quietly bending my pride,
for you to become my bride
so as to have a smooth ride
till a child comes our way.
Take this not as dried
or too crunchy fried.
But rather be mild,
and see me as wild
with no where to hide
'trying to pass the tide
created by your dad...'
(12/3/2012 3:21:00 PM)
Hi poets, poetry lovers and writers - I have posted 2 poems on this site namely; African sunset and Transitions: A hobo's view. Please may I ask you to read, critique and rate these pieces and I will do the same to your work.
Thank you - happy reading.
(12/3/2012 4:41:00 AM)
Spring Evening Chant
Let the breeze blow,
Let the river flow,
In the spring evening
Let the moon come slow.
The music of the fallen leaves around
Or when they rolling on the forest ground,
Does it remind you the song
I've sung in a whispering sound?
The bird comes back to its nest,
And the sun sets down in the west,
The wrapper of the sky is disappeared,
Still I find in my mind unrest.
Let the breeze blow inside our mind's hollow,
Let the river flow and carry our heart's sorrow,
In the spring evening
Let the moon pass its way slow.
(Please inform me your impression if you read my poem.)
(12/1/2012 3:30:00 PM)
Hi, I've always written for family but until recently I have been what you may call a private poet. My collection is there now for you to see. I hope you enjoy some. H of them, let have your thoughts. R. K Hart. [ray]
(11/29/2012 8:57:00 PM)
I have posted some new poems which include " A Round of Applause" , " Clues of Deception" and " Somewhere In-between" . Feel free to comment on them or any of the others honestly. Thanks
(11/29/2012 7:08:00 AM)
hi never really let any other than friends see my poetry. so be gentle with me. I just use my poetry to express what I maybe can`t say. But i would be interested to see what you think. Many thanks to any who wander into my land x
(11/28/2012 6:20:00 PM)
Im a 17 year old chick going through and been through alot of shit. I just started opening up, at school, with my friends and now on the internet, it might be alittle disturbing to read, but I would really appreciate if you could check it out and tell me what you think, and I know Im not alone and that everyone goes through some kinda shit, so thats the stuff Im into and want to read, so I would be more than happy to read and comment on the poems of your deepest and most sincere thoughts and feelings and stories whether its your story or not.
(11/28/2012 8:36:00 AM)
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posted my first poem here at poemhunter, , , , , was hoping to get some reviews so that i could work on my mistakes.
(11/23/2012 5:41:00 PM)
Since I last posted here I have several new poems at R. K. Hart so could I ask that you take a moment and give me your thoughts. I have always referred to my self as a tradesman poet not an artist.
Best wishes to you and yours, Ray
(11/18/2012 7:56:00 PM)
love is a trinket
a bobble head that sits on your dash
and smiles at you in traffic
a charm on a chain that is more heavy
then the metal its made of
it is inexorably mundane
an item lost in the cracks of minutia
the clutter of oblivion
it is the useless totem that you lose and forget
and when it finds you
you can remember who gave it to you
or what it ever did for you in the first place
and so you surrender it to the grasp of the abyss
and affection turns to apathy
and the bobble head and the charm
are left to bear it all
and conjecture there own existence
Comment of the Day
- The Poor Boy
Without money or clothes,
Down the streets he goes,
Begging for recompense,
Just fifty pence,
To make ...