Critiques and Revision

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  • Riffat Samad (12/3/2012 4:41:00 AM) Post reply

    Spring Evening Chant

    Let the breeze blow,
    Let the river flow,
    In the spring evening
    Let the moon come slow.

    The music of the fallen leaves around
    Or when they rolling on the forest ground,
    Does it remind you the song
    I've sung in a whispering sound?

    The bird comes back to its nest,
    And the sun sets down in the west,
    The wrapper of the sky is disappeared,
    Still I find in my mind unrest.

    Let the breeze blow inside our mind's hollow,
    Let the river flow and carry our heart's sorrow,
    In the spring evening
    Let the moon pass its way slow.

    (Please inform me your impression if you read my poem.)

  • Rookie - 3 Points Ray Hart (12/1/2012 3:30:00 PM) Post reply

    Hi, I've always written for family but until recently I have been what you may call a private poet. My collection is there now for you to see. I hope you enjoy some. H of them, let have your thoughts. R. K Hart. [ray]

  • Rookie - 3 Points Alexis ... (11/29/2012 8:57:00 PM) Post reply

    Hello Poets,

    I have posted some new poems which include " A Round of Applause" , " Clues of Deception" and " Somewhere In-between" . Feel free to comment on them or any of the others honestly. Thanks

  • Rookie - 3 Points Nikki Cuthbert (11/29/2012 7:08:00 AM) Post reply

    hi never really let any other than friends see my poetry. so be gentle with me. I just use my poetry to express what I maybe can`t say. But i would be interested to see what you think. Many thanks to any who wander into my land x

  • Rookie - 3 Points Karoliena Somura (11/28/2012 6:20:00 PM) Post reply

    Im a 17 year old chick going through and been through alot of shit. I just started opening up, at school, with my friends and now on the internet, it might be alittle disturbing to read, but I would really appreciate if you could check it out and tell me what you think, and I know Im not alone and that everyone goes through some kinda shit, so thats the stuff Im into and want to read, so I would be more than happy to read and comment on the poems of your deepest and most sincere thoughts and feelings and stories whether its your story or not.

  • Rookie - 931 Points Kanav Justa (11/28/2012 8:36:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    posted my first poem here at poemhunter, , , , , was hoping to get some reviews so that i could work on my mistakes.

    Replies for this message:
    • Stevie Taite (12/11/2012 6:37:00 AM) Post reply

      Will gladly read through your poems and message you any ideas. Thanks for taking time out to read my poems and glad you enjoy! I so often get inspired by reading others work in here! So many great po ... more

  • Rookie - 3 Points Ray Hart (11/23/2012 5:41:00 PM) Post reply

    Hello Everyone,
    Since I last posted here I have several new poems at R. K. Hart so could I ask that you take a moment and give me your thoughts. I have always referred to my self as a tradesman poet not an artist.
    Best wishes to you and yours, Ray

  • Rookie - 3 Points Zach Bobrowski (11/18/2012 7:56:00 PM) Post reply

    love is a trinket
    a bobble head that sits on your dash
    and smiles at you in traffic
    a charm on a chain that is more heavy
    then the metal its made of
    it is inexorably mundane
    an item lost in the cracks of minutia
    the clutter of oblivion
    it is the useless totem that you lose and forget
    and when it finds you
    you can remember who gave it to you
    or what it ever did for you in the first place
    and so you surrender it to the grasp of the abyss
    and affection turns to apathy
    and the bobble head and the charm
    are left to bear it all
    and conjecture there own existence

  • Rookie - 10 Points Godfrey Morris (11/17/2012 10:47:00 AM) Post reply

    Silent Soul

    I am a poet
    silently hidden in life's closet
    with half-measured expressions
    seeking to be made whole
    secret imagination longing
    to be bold
    I am the wind
    that echoes in your head
    I am your reason
    your silent unknown

    copyright(c) 2012

  • Rookie - 10 Points Rebecca Dalmaso (11/14/2012 5:35:00 AM) Post reply

    hey guys hoping to get some honest opinions on my poems will be sure to read and comment on your poems in return xx

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