Critiques and Revision
(11/1/2012 11:13:00 PM)
I would love for you guys to read my new poem
and my poems entitled " Fallen Raven" and " Autumnal Love"
Thanks in advance for your time!
P.S. If you leave comments (which I hope you do, I want to get different opinions on my poetry) PLEASE be completely honest. If you didn't like it, tell me!
That's why I want different opinions :)
(11/1/2012 10:55:00 PM)
Hi uh I'm sort of new to this...
anyway please read my poem called " Confusion."
lol most awkward post ever.
(11/1/2012 12:31:00 AM)
Please read my 2 new poems
1. With tears flooding my pillow.
2. Within me.
Thanks a lot. It would be lovely to receive your views through comments or messages. Thanks.
God Bless :)
(10/23/2012 4:31:00 PM)
Please note that my new book of poetry, " Dada Reborn: 21st Century Poems, " is now available on Amazon (Ebook) .
These poems are intended for a mature liberal-minded audience.
(10/19/2012 3:20:00 AM)
I have a new poem....WARNING! ! Although this poem about a person eating fruit was written in good humour, it may be seen as a little racy, so please don't read if that is embarrassing to you.
He presses it to his lips
Bares his teeth
And nips at the flesh
Sweet liquid escapes his lips
And races with his tongue
From the corner
Of his mouth
He catches the nectarous droplet
And draws it back inside
How I long for a taste!
To touch his delicious lips with mine
To fold my tongue through
The warm sweetness of him
Again...again and again
Ohhhh to hear my name groaned
Through his baritone voice
As my body sings his song.
His eyes...his beautiful eyes.............
Uh oh! ! ! ! ! !
He sees me!
I feel crimson warmth spread
Across my face
How long have I been staring?
(10/12/2012 9:13:00 PM)
poetry comes from ones heart and soul.the words just pop into your head without you even trying..you just dont feel whole intill its done.so what other people think about your poetry does not really matter
(10/10/2012 8:27:00 AM)
I would very interesting any advice and guidance of others to my poem...
I am alive here sound true,
In a golden or darken circular blue,
I am alive, yes to live and to love...
Can you understand what is love?
Please listen to me,
Sits on a rose
And sings for the sun...
It's in love with a glorious and shiny rise.
Please listen to me...
We have no time,
Let's be butterfly,
Sing for the sea,
And watch the rise and fall of the waves
That are ahead of us.
(10/9/2012 9:10:00 PM)
| Read 1 reply
i would really appreciate any help and advice others may give about my poetry i feel some are good but would welcome suggestions for tips.here is my page http://www.poemhunter.com/clay-perry/ and here is a new poem..
'my love's like jazz'
Why jazz?Everyone asks,
thinks maybe it's a crutch,
but you have to listen
to understand that
when it swings mad
it's controlled wild,
screaming like loons
from the secret structure
of someone's imagination.
You get to go there, fly
down to it, sail across it,
lose yourself winging
your own dips
and graceful spins.
The cool liquid changes
when it cries soft
as yellow fog, curling
around memory. Ghosts
who usually live
in the next room
step in to hold you
faint as smoke, whisper
their stories one more
time you have to listen
to understand. It's a river.
It pulls you with tides,
and deep underneath
it's all blue, sad
in a minor way,
but enveloping as peace,
low as life.
You can stretch yourself
around it, let it move
your limbs, carry you
in a sway of somewhere
you've never been
but for that space
in this moment my love smooth,
sticky, sultry, sweetly heady.
(10/9/2012 9:01:00 PM)
| Read 1 reply
please would folks offer me advice and any help you may afford me on my poetry i think some is good just would appreciate some help..http://www.poemhunter.com/clay-perry/
(10/6/2012 9:17:00 PM)
I wrote this poem quite a while ago. I'd like to know what you all think.
The sunset's blood spills yellow and orange,
The fern's new life within the sporange,
I tread the Earth's path so sweet,
the flowers crumple 'neath my feet.
The sky, it glows a bright new silver,
The ewe shall feed her newborn chilver.
Dance around the light of stars,
Paint the planet known as Mars.
And soon shall strike the inspiration,
entwined so soft with desperation.
The moon, it shines so florescent,
The glowworms shimmer, incandescent.
Watch the sky, it soon will fall,
The gentile mist absorbs it all.
The blood of demons spills and splashes,
marking you with quick, red lashes.
Piece by piece we'll watch the dreams,
It's just not always what it seems.
The feathers drifting, falling down,
Fill the streets, the vacant town.
A misty haze shall fill the skies,
Watch the fallen disk arise,
lined with silver and plated gold,
it brings the new and keeps the old.