Critiques and Revision
(8/6/2013 3:48:00 AM)
| Read 1 reply
Poem Hunter Poetry Contest has officially started. You can enter with your favorite poem now or write a new one and submit it before August 31st,2013.
Prize is $1,000 for the winner and $250 for the 2nd and 3rd place..
You can write in any poetic style and on any subject.
Entering the contest is free.
(7/28/2013 4:52:00 PM)
Just an older man's reflections over the years. All thoughts are welcome
(7/27/2013 3:24:00 AM)
My rhythms and rhymes are no longer
my flow is choppy
don't follow to closely
you won't catch the beat
like rain in june
like petticoats and earmuffs in Southern California
its all over the place
cue the horns Mr. Coltrane
i don't write for the popular
i write for the awkward
confused at heart
but perfectly understanding
everything around me is a misinterpretation
of what another person thought i should perceive it as
no beats to catch in life
just waves and feelings
taxies and trains
you get my drift
steer straight …or not
(7/26/2013 8:36:00 PM)
Never Cry in Public
You’ll need a thicker skin
They’ll eat you alive this way
Your feelings are a weakness
And must be kept at bay
There, there; have a tissue
You’re not the first to cry
Those who’ve come before you
Learned to steal away and hide
If you’re seized by the will to fight
When the world seems much too cruel
Remind yourself it’s useless
Remember caring is too uncool
Emotions are for children
And pussies with guitars
Affecting change is a fairy tale
Get your head out of the stars
Your feelings make us uncomfortable
And repression is such a bitch
Leave the crying to the actors
They get paid to scratch that itch
Sensuality for sale!
Passion for a penny!
Didn’t anyone ever tell you?
The only value left is money.
What happens when we wake up?
What happens when we fall?
Eventually the coyote looks down
Nothing left between him and the ground
What happens when I wake up?
The pavement is closer than it seems
I must surface now because
Everyone knows what happens if you die in a dream…
Adam M. Snow
(7/18/2013 1:45:00 AM)
I have seen Maelstroms Eternal
By: Adam M. Snow
I write with flowers of ink,
thou love poured out on page,
in a slumbering alder away in endless flight;
swaying with the stars, so white 'gainst the black night sky.
Facing the horizons, on the calm black waters called -ink.
-I write for thee that thou heart be free.
I have seen maelstroms eternal,
mount in my soul but endless;
-An abyss without thee, I dare thee not.
By starlight the rushes lean over thee wide:
-The ink on the page is erased,
-The text is long forgotten.
(7/3/2013 3:07:00 PM)
~I Ain't Ever Love Somebody~
I know you're no good
You're a cold-hearted snake
You've looked me in the eye
and you'd tell me lies
I should be headed out the door
but instead, I chase you like a fool
I put up with this and what for
I don't know why you treat me cruel
One night I'll get tired
because i couldn't do it anymore
oh, I hope i'm right
You got me up all night
how you treat me it's a shame
why do I let you hurt me so bad?
just remember when and if I leave
I'll be the best you've ever had
I ain't never loved someone like you
I ain't ever hurt this bad too
I ain't ever, i mean never
loved somebody like you
Niki Nicholas Nkuna
(7/2/2013 7:55:00 AM)
The sky is the limit, we never reach it but we must keep on striving. Comments on the poem appreciated in anticipation.
Dreams took me to places I have been before
And places that are a mirage in dream and reality
And places that will come a time for me to set foot in
And those places that will remain many dreams to come
Dreams and dreams, days and places that never come to pass
I dreamed of wealth and poverty
Paradise and hell,
Roads that twist and turn, rise and decent
And fall flat like smoke
Dreams that are like winter and summer
Those that bring more food and empty plates
Like big and small trees that all grow but which can never be equal
The great ones touch the sky and feel God’s fervour welcome and wrath
I dreamed having horns that stick and stump
Half a time I lost the fight and regret my mistake when I come to light
Many a time I knew what I could have done
And half a time I never did the right things
Many a time I felt ashamed by the turn of light
Felt like a coward and never tell the dream
Half a time I did the right things and felt proud to tell the dream
Half a time bad things happen to me
‘Cause I never knew how to prevent them in my flat state
I messed myself up, my pride wore thin thus I never can tell the dream
Half a time good things happen to me in the dream
I grew horns of smoke and proudly told the dream
Half a time I saw myself in heaven and earth
My heart broke on both sides of the planet
‘Cause I saw my siblings and friends,
Smiling happily and crying unhappily
Like children they never say ‘Yes’ and ‘No’
And I never knew, never know what to do
I had to think for them, or tell the dream and hope for decipher
N Nkuna, 4 November 2012
Adam M. Snow
(6/29/2013 7:58:00 PM)
Under the Innocent Sky
By: Adam M. Snow
Under the innocent sky,
ever serene and fair.
Beauty is the stars on high,
taking away our despair.
Ever so silent it can be,
with still a melody that can be heard.
Close your eyes imagine free,
with wings stretched wide, like a morning bird.
Soaring through the dark blue sky,
ever serene and fair;
joining with the stars on high,
feeling the wind between your hair.
Even though the dream's not true,
we can still admire from afar,
the beauty the sky, so dark and blue,
and the many dancing stars.
(6/23/2013 1:31:00 PM)
(6/17/2013 8:13:00 AM)
Crickets play in the dead of night
A melody, so soft and sweet
Lulls me quickly off to sleep
Sold out tickets to the show
Memories, a matinee
Cut the reel, don’t let it play
Wishing from an empty well
Heads and tails, vacuous legends
Hopes and dreams, faded, bludgeoned
Caterpillar grows and grows
Doomed to die to start anew
The life I lived, no miscue
Breaking free from my cocoon
Leaving my old world behind
No longer will I be confined
Crawled to walk and learned to fly
Seen the world from a distinct view
Found a life I never knew