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  • Rookie - 0 Points Brioney Leon (5/3/2014 4:08:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply
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    In the Beginning

    They were facing their realities
    Admiring the grace and
    wonder of their lives
    They stepped back slowly
    To survey the whole picture
    And that’s when it happened
    that they ran into each other

    They turned to see the other
    For the first time
    And in the other’s image
    saw themselves
    And as they smiled
    at their reflections
    somehow they knew
    They would never be
    the same again

    They wanted to know
    more of the other
    To read the other closely
    like chapters in an open book
    of mystery, suspense
    And so they turned the pages
    and when they read between the lines
    they found one another
    Vulnerable. Beautiful. Inescapable

    They went later to the bedsides
    of each of their loved ones
    and told a different story
    In whispers reminded them
    How much they truly loved them
    And that they’d be there
    in the morning when they woke
    That was forever
    Nothing had changed
    between them

    They sat with themselves and wept
    because the truth had cut them open
    And they searched for a reason
    not to suffer with their thoughts
    Then they reached
    behind their backs
    for the hand of the other
    And placed it gently over
    their own mouths
    to silence their fears

    They met with the other
    at hidden places
    in their minds’ eyes
    Blinded with trust
    they flirted with lust
    And told each other secrets
    and drank each other in
    Savoured the essence of desire
    Filled themselves
    with expectation

    They dove deep into dark water
    Bare hearts pressed together
    And made love to the dream
    made out of the two of them
    Enfolded in the ecstasy
    They gave and received all
    of themselves to
    and from the other
    until they came undone
    and found themselves
    lost in the cadence of rapture

    They told themselves then
    that they should leave now
    and make their way home
    Set fire to the paper trail
    before it was too late
    to let the other go
    Back to the beginning
    so the story would not end
    But they could not find a way
    without each other

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  • Rookie Ambar Yadav (5/3/2014 3:28:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies

    I'm an absolute novice, so any feedback at all is welcome! thanks!

    Ladies and gents, this is a tale about a friend of mine from across the line
    A fine example of a man, most today would attest
    I always knew him as a good man and a good friend but to the good county folks
    he was the, fastest gun in the west
    My friend didn't go to school and never knew 'bout college
    He didn't do a whole lot too much with his time
    Lived up on the cotton farm, he was a peaceful man
    but had to pick and be picked on for no reason and no rhyme

    My friend he had a woman, and what a woman she was!
    She was beautiful and kind and could perfectly pronounce
    auf wiederhesen, danke she said my grammar is indeed fine
    I've had time to perfect my verbs and my pronouns
    He loved her deeply and her love for him was true
    But they had no home and life it was awfully rough
    The days in the hot sun out in the plantation
    had made their skins burn and their minds tough

    They had it pretty bad and they weren't alone, cause
    all who had been brought forth from across the ocean
    were ruled with an iron hand
    without mercy, any notion of justice or emotion
    But my friend was a man who lived life with care
    and he never would have had no ballad sung about his feats
    If not for one day, one break for the bay
    When he and his woman, they made like athletes

    Their feet were muffled by the grass
    while above them the sun hung low
    The air grew cold and thick with their fear
    and they could almost hear the stream flow
    screaming liberty, equality, justice and a meal
    when the evening light began to receede
    And by the howling of the hounds they knew
    that from the tyranny of colours they were not freed

    The masters they tossed my friend aside
    And his woman they made her a prisoner
    and I knew he wasn't no peaceful man no more
    When he told me he'd make em release her
    It was about this time that the dentist made an appearance
    And offered my friend a piece of salvation
    He was goin after the masters he said
    was gonna find em even if he had to search the nation

    The dentist, he was the reaper's assitant
    'a friend of the lawman my friend, I assist in the cleanup'
    I bet he would've voted for Lincoln too
    he didn't have much time for those who felt it was all a storm in a teacup
    Now my friend wasn't no peaceful man no more
    So for a last confession he made his way to the old Church
    And Father John he took one look at him and said son,
    when you get to St. Peter's you'll be left in a lurch

    But a man resolved with little to lose
    Will give no quarter to man, beast, demon, or God
    And when he learned the touch of a Smith & Wesson
    my friend wasn't lookin' for no celestial nod
    And so they set out, the dentist and him
    through snow, rain, and rivers to a faraway land
    Down to Mississippi where his woman was held
    And I hear it was in a farm folks called candyland

    Now the Dentist he was a sharp knife
    a regular Einstein
    And my friend, he'd never miss a mark
    come rain or shine
    There never really was a shred of doubt in my head
    That even though it was a tough nut to crack
    the dentist, my friend
    and his woman would be back

    And after weeks of travelling on four legs and two
    my friend, he saw the prisoner, his woman
    she was beaten and bruised
    like you and I would do to no human
    but her torn lips curved upwards as she saw my friend
    While the snake in the grass, he bore witness
    but none saw him look on,
    for he remained hidden by the grass and its thickness

    The plan had failed, the conspiracy collapsed
    and the gunshot rang out before the death knell
    when twenty odd men cocked their guns
    and the dentist reached for his own as he fell
    That was the day the men in the mansion discovered
    that when pushed too far
    some may crack but others,
    they thrive when you raise the bar

    Many a-tale's been told and plenty songs sung
    about the gunshots, the Mississippi mansion and my friend
    And some say that on that day,
    more than twoscore men met their end
    And the only man who was left alive
    he begged for his life
    My friend he was about to yield
    But then he took a good look at his wife
    And as he raised his gun for one last time
    'Who the hell are you nigger?' cried the white man Franco
    And my friend, he didn't smile, laugh or frown
    as he pressed the trigger and whispered his name was Django

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  • Rookie Avellina Balestri (5/1/2014 11:46:00 PM) Post reply

    The Flame of Autumn

    The dawn chill of autumn
    Causing fog at the mouth when we speak

    The pale sun
    Turning the spider webs to crystal dream-catchers

    The corn drying crisp and crunchy on the stalks
    Forming a maze for children

    The amber hay bales
    Surrounded by a haze of particles

    The old barns, chipped and decrepit
    Like haunted houses on the hills

    The heavy mist in the valley
    Hiding the trees that turn from gay green to elegant orange

    The goldenrod
    Holding their blonde heads high in the fields

    There is so much life, and yet beneath the surface
    The sting of death threatens

    The bite in the air suggests it
    Piercing clothing to make one shiver

    There is a stillness settling over the earth
    Like the first or last day in history

    The birds’ songs are softer
    Like Elfin lays lamenting a fading glory

    The color of the leaves is bursting bright
    But will soon turn to blood, wither, and fall

    The moments seem to crawl by
    Like the spread of frost across a window pane

    The nights come suddenly, like a thief
    Without the summer sun to ward them off

    They are heavier now
    Like the winter blankets taken from attic chests

    My soul is burdened
    By an awareness of aloneness

    As empty as a jack-o-lantern
    With a nightmarish expression of despair

    As hollow as the eye-sockets
    Of a moldering skull

    As meaningless as the echo
    Of cawing crows flying over the pumpkin clusters

    I long for fire instead of ice
    For understanding instead of confusion

    For the embrace of loved ones long gone
    Instead of my own arms braced against the cold

    But most of all, I long for God

    To ask to feel the presence of Him
    Is a thing that is known to wound

    Agony comes with ecstasy
    Even for the saints, among whom I hold no place

    Brilliance is blinding and searing
    When it pierces the smothering blackness

    But I would take it, nonetheless

    Sink me into fire, plunge me into ice
    But do not let me wander alone in shadows

    Let us have a place all to ourselves
    Where I can lay my head on Your breast

    Where I may hear your voice whispering
    Out of the gentle breeze, no longer chilling

    Let us be lover and beloved in the depth of the night
    And let not my own self separate us

    For You are the Love of Loves
    The delight of all things, the breath of life

    Let me at least tend the wounds
    That I caused you to receive, as a handmaid

    Let me feel the peace that comes with fullness
    For an instant, to light the winter’s dark

    Be the flame of autumn in this changing, chilling world
    And in my trembling heart

    It is all I need

  • Rookie - 72 Points Yash Shinde (4/29/2014 3:12:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Dear honest critics, I seek your reviews on this one.....

    ##To bosom thee.....I'll Rise...##..

    He was before his beloved,
    Kneeling on his thighs……..
    His shoulders down,
    With soulful cries…….

    Slid down his cheeks, like shiny pearls,
    The tears that his doleful eyes did shed….
    Was held in them a vision of his mistress,
    Who lied helpless in her cold deathbed….

    Bowing his head, lifting hands in plea,
    Breaking the silence, quoth he-

    ____”Once bound with the essence of thee
    ____I now wash the coast like a restless sea”
    ____”Powered by love my heart did bore,
    ____I’ll trace your impressions on the sandy shore….”

    ____”Turning stones time does flow,
    ____a model of valor, should you lie so low?”
    ____”your mellow fragrance in the darkness behind,
    ____tell me my precious, where will I find?”

    She raised her eyes, deep as a sea,
    In a soothing voice, quoth she-

    ____”See the alluring florets of rose that,
    ____bloom opening their carmine lips, ”
    ____”With a mellow scent, they invite,
    ____butterflies to deliver a kiss…..”

    ____”In blossom of rose you shall see me,
    ____that blooms with the kiss of thee..”
    ____”Amongst trodden hopes and dismal cries,
    ____like the sun of hope I will rise! ”

    ____”Thus like a rose dwelling
    ____in the eyes of thee”
    ____”In curls of petals,
    ____You shall find me…”

    With his blood hitting his veins like an edgy sea,
    In a painful voice quoth he-

    ____”Every blossom does wither with time,
    ____every Bonnie creation someday declines.”
    ____”In the withered remnants dispelled behind
    ____ tell me my love where would I find?”

    Wiping the tears his had shed.
    With calmness of a sage, his beloved said-

    ____”If you wash the shore like a restless sea.
    ____in spiriting rivers you shall find me..”
    ____”Which through meandering turns do make their course,
    ____and cut through boulders to reach their source…”

    ____”Like a river unifying with salinity of the sea,
    ____I lose my soul, and ally with thee..”

    ____”If like a graceful dove you’ll appraise the sky, ____
    ____like a breeze from the surface, I’ll rise” ____
    ____”Like a phoenix that rises from ashes to life, ____
    ____to wipe your tears from dust I’ll rise”____
    ____”Like an angel that dwells in heavenly paradise, ____
    ____to empower the oceanic tides, like moon I’ll rise”____
    ____”In my portrait I’ll live that dwells in your eyne,
    ____Like a fragrance that scents I’ll rise” ____

    - - -”Search me not the remnants behind,
    - - -But in the stillness of your soul, me you’ll find”
    - - -Mortals do vanish, true love never dies…
    - - -To bosom thee, from dead I’ll rise….


    The pearls slid smoothly over his facial curls,
    And wet the still heart that bore his name…
    The silent heart of a sacred soul,
    Dipped in the bloody tears, pious it became……

    Copyright © Yash Shinde 2014

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  • Rookie - 885 Points Herbert Guitang (4/26/2014 4:46:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    One poet is trying to edit my poem in his suggestion

    Just A Friend

    Someone you can talk to
    A person you can share with
    The one who can care with you
    Somebody who will be concern with you

    Someone who can understand you
    A person that gives you attention
    The one who can share your affection
    Somebody who can accompany you
    in the storm and in the heaven of your life

    Someone who can make a distance and give you space
    A person with no creepiness and cleverness
    The one with no strings of attachment
    Somebody who is not special, but a simple
    and ordinary “angel” of your life

    Not a best friend
    Not a girlfriend
    Not a boyfriend
    Not a mutual friend

    Only Just a Friend
    herbert guitang

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  • Rookie - 885 Points Herbert Guitang (4/26/2014 4:46:00 AM) Post reply

    One poet is trying to edit my poem in his suggestion

    Just A Friend

    Someone you can talk to
    A person you can share with
    The one who can care with you
    Somebody who will be concern with you

    Someone who can understand you
    A person that gives you attention
    The one who can share your affection
    Somebody who can accompany you
    in the storm and in the heaven of your life

    Someone who can make a distance and give you space
    A person with no creepiness and cleverness
    The one with no strings of attachment
    Somebody who is not special, but a simple
    and ordinary “angel” of your life

    Not a best friend
    Not a girlfriend
    Not a boyfriend
    Not a mutual friend

    Only Just a Friend
    herbert guitang

  • Rookie Alan Browne (4/25/2014 5:05:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    [ edit poem ]
    Desert Sands
    Desert sands, hovering around my watery eyes
    Broken skin and a sore buttocks
    Courtesy of my camels back.
    While trodding along the sandy path.

    Sand dunes burning from the desert sun
    My skin is almost fully cooked,
    My camel turns and smiles and says,
    Are you my friend having fun.

    Beatles hauling camel manure,
    Over the sand dunes and through the day,
    Il assume he sleeps well, or she,
    Under the starry desert sky they ll lay

    And i will do the same, sleep under the starry sky that is
    As i ponder and wander, while connecting the stars
    Smoking marijuana in my bed made of sand.
    Waiting for my day to end.

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    • Rookie Shobana Gomes (4/28/2014 1:18:00 AM) Post reply

      You have brought out the wanderer of the Desert Sands quite well here punctuating between the heaviness of nature and the wanderer. It has good imagery to it as well with an added humor of the situat ... more

  • Rookie Alan Browne (4/23/2014 5:35:00 PM) Post reply

    Grandma said

    Grandma always said, 'This too shall pass.' I think of this at three am when the cat is kneading the spare pillow on my bed. If I was to die tonight I think I would like to come back as whiskey. Just as strong and just as necessary.

    Potent, yet oozes of strength and class, the way Grandma was. Though if I came back as a cat, that would be just as good, cute and cunning and limber, no matter how far they fall they always land on their feet, sounds ideal.

    Like Grandma always said, It will pass, we just have to ride the lightning, outlast It, but the woes just keep coming and coming, seems like that’s all there is sometimes, seems like the only time they will stop is when I will stop.

    As I stare at the ceiling, cat scraping the pillow, I think to myself, I want to come back as a dog, not a care in the world, lives from one meal to the next, and an occasional walk, that is the way life is supposed to be, nice and easy

    Whenever they are met with grief or despair, It’s like water off a ducks back, I want to be like that, not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, contempt with chasing their tail. Maybe we humans are the real mutts, dealing with all this nonsense.

    I wish I had a hundred small problems, so it could take the focus off of the real on-going ones that torment on an hourly basis. It’s now 4.15 and I am still not asleep, I have got dry mouth and the cat keeps pacing on my bed.

    Grandma oh Grandma, call unto me, my tank for this life is running near empty. Grandma oh Grandma, call to me now, my hour is before me,
    call as you know how. Can you lend me your Aura, just for a while, to see me over this difficult time? I remember you bouncing me, up on your lap, sipping on oval tine; this takes me aback, to happier times, till we meet again.

    The sun is lighting the corner of my room, the cat is asleep. It’s now just me and my problems, oh what to do. Grandma’s voice was still in my head, saying, this too shall pass, this too shall pass, then I replied, THATs ALL THERE SEEMS TO BE, THATS ALL THERE SEEMS TO BE.

    Then fight your way through it, said a voice inside me, even if it keeps getting worse, keep fighting, and fighting, till you can’t fight anymore, don’t go quietly, just stand up and fight, scrape your way back till you find your way through, thank you Grandma, i know its you.

  • Rookie Alan Browne (4/23/2014 5:33:00 PM) Post reply

    Through the Colored Skies

    Through the skies that I glide,
    And to the left of my lay,
    Was the bird’s wing, and a colorful gaze.
    The oceans of sky were Curtained by clouds,
    To the right were a passenger thinking aloud.

    I sat in my seat with no thought come to mind,
    As comfort and solace flooded my eyes.
    I looked to the colored skies of blue white and beige,
    With past visions and specters away far away.

    Unknown to me, I arrived at a dream,
    Were glorious visions and fantastical scenes.
    While I wallowed in the heaven’s, there happy and free,
    Then suddenly wakened to the sound of reality.
    The colorful skies had all faded to black,
    With the trials of life came tumbling back.

    As the large metal rod lacerates the night skies,
    Readying for the journeys imminent demise.
    I sit in my seat listening to the turbulence roar,
    Now comfort and solace are with me no more.

  • Rookie Alan Browne (4/23/2014 5:32:00 PM) Post reply

    Broken bones, tormented souls,
    and everything in between.
    Bound to bed, or head filled with dread,
    One as bad as the other.

    Besotted with hate, or riddled with aches
    The black dog has many forms.
    Among us many beings, sometimes blind
    unto our seeing, the banes we come victim to.

    Anxiously calling for the decks reshuffle,
    praying for god to deal again.
    Out of the dark and into the light,
    a vision that might never be.

    While we live near par, unsure of who we are,
    there is only one expression that fits the picture.
    Your health is your wealth and nothing else,
    truer words can never be spoken.

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