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Teen Poetry and Discussions

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  • Rex Copperfield (1/25/2012 10:47:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    hey every body do me the honor of reading/commenting on my poems so i can get feedback on how to get better im up for even the harshest critic ill return the favor please and thank you

  • Megan Loww (1/24/2012 1:04:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies Stage

    This is my poem about the 9/11 attacks. it is based on a girl who lost her father and based on the day after.
    *please tell me what you think*

    Heaven is never too far.

    My Daddy couldn't be here,
    because he lives so far away.
    But I know he wishes he could be,
    since this is such a special day.
    And though you cannot meet him,
    I wanted you to know.
    All about my daddy,
    and how much he loves me so.
    He loved to tell me stories
    he taught me to ride my bike.
    He surprised me with pink roses,
    and taught me to fly a kite.
    We used to share fudge sundaes,
    and ice cream in a cone.
    And though you cannot see him.
    I'm not standing here alone.
    Cause my daddy's always with me,
    even though we are apart
    I know because he told me,
    he'll forever be in my heart
    I love my daddy very much,
    he's my shining star.
    And if he could, he'd be here,
    but heaven's just too far
    You see he was a firefighter
    and died just this past year
    When airplanes hit the towers
    and taught Americans to fear.
    But sometimes when I close my eyes,
    it's like he never went away.
    I know you're with me Daddy
    that heaven is never too far away.

    Replies for this message:
    • Rachel Frankovich (2/3/2012 12:14:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      P.S. It also wasn't ORIGINALLY written to be about 9/11 and was published a year earlier.

    • Rachel Frankovich (2/3/2012 12:12:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      I'd like to point out that you stole this from a guy who stole this from a women who wrote it about a very special young lady. This isn't yours. It's WORD FOR WORD the same. I hope you take it down an ... more

  • Shekinah Whitted (1/22/2012 7:08:00 PM) Post reply Stage


    I make a loud noise,
    And it is kind of scary,
    Again I say BOOM!

    this is a Haiku I made up for my Language arts Class.

  • Poemhunter Moderator (1/20/2012 1:24:00 AM) Post reply

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  • Christian Rivera (1/16/2012 9:03:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Hey guys, I'd love and appreciate questions/comments/concerns about my work. I'm always eager to read constructive criticism and the like. Your input is important to me, thank you. http: //

  • Chantal Gebauer (1/12/2012 9:54:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Darkness descends; clouding my thoughts, my judgement, my decency.
    His words batter against me.
    Like the waves that beat their rhythm; slowly the rocks give way; and so do I.
    I cannot grasp the full meaning of his intentions, nor do I understand what he desires. But through hazy thoughts I am able to understand that he means me harm.
    Though time takes a toll, I emerge from within my hiding place; changed.
    Now knowing what despair can look like, but also aware of the fragrant smell of hope.
    Like the smell of freshly cut flowers, the tang of happiness, the scent of freshly washed laundry swaying on a clothesline, the fragrance of hope draws me in.
    Life moves on, and so will I.

    Replies for this message:
    • Chantal Gebauer (1/12/2012 9:56:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      I would really love feedback on this poem. What I do is set an alarm to go off in ten minutes, and stop when it goes off. The end result is however much i've written in that amount of time

  • Blake Lives (12/31/2011 5:26:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    In the end how could I simply stay away?
    When a simple hello causes my resolve to sway
    I long for those peaks past this veil of deceit, past a forced mask worn
    To hide how my heart has been ripped and torn
    How blind could I be to ever chase the ghost that is your affection?
    When I can hardly stand a mere glance at my own reflection
    Yet still I chase looking for comfort in the mere mundane
    Clutching moments of intimacy like a cripple and his cane
    Why do I give significance to drunken moments holdings hands?
    Or dances with this devil when I know exactly where she stands
    A cursed man I must be to still linger on in this manner
    To return to this meager existence in which I merely wave her banner
    In some ways I’m a fool, for these wounds are self-inflicted
    But sadly, I cannot see my life otherwise depicted

    Replies for this message:
  • Chelsea Kucera (12/22/2011 9:14:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies Stage

    Hard shell, strong mind.
    Cold heart, no time.
    Forgotten feelings from time left alone.
    Wounds so deep they didn't show.
    A smile as fake as Pamela Anderson's breasts.
    To capture my heart, you had to be better than the best.
    I didn't need love or want your time.
    It took one laugh for you to be mine.
    One smile of yours, and I was taken aback.
    In my heart of stone, I felt a crack.
    The rest was my own fault,
    When my walls crumbled to salt.
    As we said goodbye, I wished to die.
    Who was I without you by my side?
    Looking back, I let out a laugh.
    Lessons are learned from seeing the past.
    I rejected your love as you held on strong.
    When you turned away, I saw I was wrong.
    Too late for me, too bad for you.
    You were the joker, I was the fool.
    Lucky for me, I quickly regenerate.
    My shields are up and will not break.
    So ignore me baby, as you talk to her.
    Forget me love, when you hunger for more.
    There is no other you, but there's not even an imitation of me.
    You'll never find what we had-just you wait and see.

    © Chelsea Ann Crisman

    Replies for this message:
  • Stef: Dxx Patterson (12/19/2011 2:18:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    Hey everybody... Im a 15 year old female from New Zealand wanting someone to talk to with the same interests as myself... the music i listens mostly to rock and metal but I also listen to a range of songs from diffrent genres... i love writing my own storys and drawing things to go with the story... my life revolves around my music + my bass guitar which i have been playing for just over 4 years, my writing and my drawings... so if you're in to the same sort of stuff and want to start a pen pal sort of thingy message me: D... Stef...

  • Joshua Pearson (12/5/2011 10:34:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    BLOOD OF HATE by Joshua Pearson

    A slash of red liquid flowing beneath your wretched guts
    It is fatal to bleed sorrowfully in the midst of your painful muck.
    Your guilts buried under your killer
    The killer showed nor flick of remorse
    Your instincts failed to move
    while the cold dark creature ease for hunger
    making hate so addictive
    Your stepped too far in the shadows
    your mind set a grave goal
    A goal to intimidate your life with hate
    Red is hate, Red like blood
    Beware of your thoughts
    before you get caught by the hungry cold dark creature called hate

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