(1/10/2012 12:23:00 PM)
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A seasonal comment overheard... I don't have any trouble with the Virgin Birth concept, but three wisemen? ? ?
(11/10/2011 1:30:00 AM)
Ｐ lato’s Potatoes
- rewritten from two works in A Book of Super Cool Tongue Twisters by Gordon Tseng
Plato’s potatoes are like Seattle’s tomatoes.
But, Seattle’s potatoes are unlike Plato’s tomatoes.
When Plato with some potatoes goes to Seattle for some tomatoes,
Plato is philosophically surprised by Seattle’s potato-like tomatoes.
An alligator climbs into a helicopter.
Later, the helicopter goes into an elevator.
Now, the alligator is in the helicopter that’s in the elevator.
So, the alligator is surely in the elevator.
When Plato back from Seattle goes into the elevator,
Plato is scared by the alligator in the helicopter.
But, when the alligator sees Plato scared like his red tomatoes,
It’s more interested in the potato-like tomatoes than that tomato-like Plato.
-from GOD BLESS NOT ONLY AMERICA
(11/9/2011 10:55:00 AM)
If you shoot a mime do you have to use a silencer?
If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to speak?
If a man says something in a forest but there's no woman around to hear him,
is he still wrong?
(10/18/2011 4:21:00 PM)
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The sentence below is false.
The sentence above is true.
(10/18/2011 4:20:00 PM)
Here's one if you know your history.
Goths dont wear Black. Real Goths sack Rome.
Ashes Jazmine Conway
(9/30/2011 12:50:00 PM)
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We go 8 spaces forth not back,
to protect our queen from a foe's attack. What are we?
Ponds! 8)Replies for this message:
To read all of 1 replies click here
(9/26/2011 9:47:00 AM)
One day an atheist was traveling in a wilderness he was very thirsty and hungry but his food and water was finished. there was not found any oasis to rest there or obtain any food or water. after a while he became hopeless and told himself : it is sounded this warm and endless wilderness hasn’t any plant and water and I am very needy for some food and water if this state continue I will die here alone and far of my family and friends it is better I believe in god and request him to send me some bread and water. So he looked at sky and said: o’ god I was in mistake you are there I was selfish and didn’t think about you, you are my creator and creator of this hell, I am thirsty and hungry forgive me and give me some food and water I would become very thankful. Suddenly he heard a sound beyond a hill he climbed it and when reached on top saw a buffalo has lied beside a stream down of that hill. That passenger became very happy, but his joy changed to fear when that buffalo noticed to him and became more wild and very angry.It got up and ran toward him atheist scared and started running away and that buffalo with tow long and sharp horn was following him up too. As he was escaping screamed : o’ god thank you for water and food but as you know I’m not a Matador!
(9/23/2011 6:09:00 PM)
it is the first time that i want to write a comedy text here but as for I don't remember anything to say I write purposeless may I remember a thing to say gradually.well, begin from where? .... Humm... please wait.....I'm thinking.......No, as if I don't remember anything....... I had gone to a trip.....to a trip....well it is not very important that I had gone to a trip.....so let me find another theme......Humm......please don't hurry.....I am thinking again.....well, my car had broken down....I got a wrench and began repairing.... well, I saw a thing like autoclave first of all I guessed may it is the cause of failing because it was bigger than other elements when I disengaged it I noticed an rubber pipe is connected to it I tried to open it but when it did, 't open I pulled it out forcedly, suddenly another thing like
a gas regulator was separated from its location. I looked for to find out its location I saw two screw I supposed may its location be there so opened those
but suddenly a thing fell down under the car. I looked at under the car there was a box with two shaft I supposed it is relative to the car radio and that two shaft is antenna I told myself no matter I don't need to radio in this time
so I continued looking for the location of that part.... one hour late I had disconnected all my car motor parts entirely but I had not found out the location of that steely part yet....
(7/24/2011 1:39:00 PM)
Bill Hicks CLASSIC!
It's Just A Ride
by Bill Hicks
The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride? ' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid - ever - because... this is just a ride.' And we kill those people.
'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride! Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry; look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that - ever notice that? - and we let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because... it's just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort. No worry. No job. No savings and money. Just a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy bigger guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, into a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and, instead, spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would do many times over - not one human being excluded - and we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever. In peace.
(7/24/2011 1:10:00 PM)
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When Steven Wright wrote: 'I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time', I knew I had to get all his works.