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  • Mansoor - (9/26/2011 9:47:00 AM) Post reply

    One day an atheist was traveling in a wilderness he was very thirsty and hungry but his food and water was finished. there was not found any oasis to rest there or obtain any food or water. after a while he became hopeless and told himself : it is sounded this warm and endless wilderness hasn’t any plant and water and I am very needy for some food and water if this state continue I will die here alone and far of my family and friends it is better I believe in god and request him to send me some bread and water. So he looked at sky and said: o’ god I was in mistake you are there I was selfish and didn’t think about you, you are my creator and creator of this hell, I am thirsty and hungry forgive me and give me some food and water I would become very thankful. Suddenly he heard a sound beyond a hill he climbed it and when reached on top saw a buffalo has lied beside a stream down of that hill. That passenger became very happy, but his joy changed to fear when that buffalo noticed to him and became more wild and very angry.It got up and ran toward him atheist scared and started running away and that buffalo with tow long and sharp horn was following him up too. As he was escaping screamed : o’ god thank you for water and food but as you know I’m not a Matador!

  • Mansoor - (9/23/2011 6:09:00 PM) Post reply

    it is the first time that i want to write a comedy text here but as for I don't remember anything to say I write purposeless may I remember a thing to say gradually.well, begin from where? .... Humm... please wait.....I'm thinking.......No, as if I don't remember anything....... I had gone to a trip.....to a trip....well it is not very important that I had gone to a trip.....so let me find another theme......Humm......please don't hurry.....I am thinking again.....well, my car had broken down....I got a wrench and began repairing.... well, I saw a thing like autoclave first of all I guessed may it is the cause of failing because it was bigger than other elements when I disengaged it I noticed an rubber pipe is connected to it I tried to open it but when it did, 't open I pulled it out forcedly, suddenly another thing like
    a gas regulator was separated from its location. I looked for to find out its location I saw two screw I supposed may its location be there so opened those
    but suddenly a thing fell down under the car. I looked at under the car there was a box with two shaft I supposed it is relative to the car radio and that two shaft is antenna I told myself no matter I don't need to radio in this time
    so I continued looking for the location of that part.... one hour late I had disconnected all my car motor parts entirely but I had not found out the location of that steely part yet....

  • Lee Cox (7/24/2011 1:39:00 PM) Post reply

    Bill Hicks CLASSIC!

    It's Just A Ride

    by Bill Hicks

    The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while.

    Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride? ' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid - ever - because... this is just a ride.' And we kill those people.

    'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride! Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry; look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that - ever notice that? - and we let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because... it's just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort. No worry. No job. No savings and money. Just a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy bigger guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

    Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, into a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and, instead, spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would do many times over - not one human being excluded - and we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever. In peace.

  • Lee Cox (7/24/2011 1:10:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    When Steven Wright wrote: 'I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time', I knew I had to get all his works.

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  • Rookie - 0 Points Cathie Tufnail (4/25/2011 7:40:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    This morning I answered the door in my pajamas........I don't know why I've got a door in my pajamas!

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  • Rookie - 0 Points Michele Kostelnik Parrillo (4/7/2011 9:19:00 PM) Post reply

    Go to you tube and watch Monty Python sketches -preferably The silly walks ministry or the argument clinic and many more. You must be into the British comedy. The show Monty Python's flying circus was on TV long ago.

  • Rookie - 0 Points Luz Hanaii (3/19/2011 12:52:00 AM) Post reply

    Got to Youtube and type
    Guido Sarducci five minute university
    It's an old classic but so funny!

  • Rookie - 0 Points Michele Kostelnik Parrillo (3/17/2011 10:01:00 PM) Post reply

    If anyone out there likes Monty Python's flying circus- go to Google and put in (you tube Monty Python - silly walks ministry and then the argument clinic. soooo funny. only fans will understand. Michele

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