(10/18/2011 4:20:00 PM)
Here's one if you know your history.
Goths dont wear Black. Real Goths sack Rome.
Ashes Jazmine Conway
(9/30/2011 12:50:00 PM)
| Read 1 reply
We go 8 spaces forth not back,
to protect our queen from a foe's attack. What are we?
(9/26/2011 3:55:00 PM)
If you get hurt by a cutting comment; use a bland-aid
When drinking; Skaters use ice, Gymnasts use tumblers, Bird-watchers use glasses, Equestrians use straw and Politicians use mugs.
The abbess is Numero Uno NunO
How can you call a toll-way a freeway if you pay, hey?
You may not be able to get blood out of a stone but a Taliban can
Curiosity killed the cat but it still has eight more lives left!
A song-writer works very melodically
When the Feminists finally got equality, they had a huge parity.
What do you call a worn-out woollen hat?
How is Dame Edna Everage a ‘housewife superstar’ if she never does any housework?
A storm in a teacup? A gazillion mega-tons of energy in one delicate little piece of porcelain?
Pride comes before a fall, dignity comes after
(9/26/2011 3:54:00 PM)
A song by AC/DC; It’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll.
Book Title: The Confessions of a Mouse Murderer
Is a Spanish agoraphobic a “home-inside-el maniac? ”
The French do not make brave soldiers ‘cause they go Oui Oui Oui all the way home.
Are badly behaved spacemen ‘astro-naughties? ’
I can’t tell you my tripe joke; it’s really offal
Is the captain’s diary water-logged?
Wedding planners put one and one together and make a million!
“…it was the sort of place where the men are men and so are the women.”
(9/26/2011 3:52:00 PM)
When a grapefruit marries a tangerine their children are all ugli
What do you call a soldier just before he goes into battle?
Is a pompous parade called a lah-de-gras?
Never get on a plane when you are angry or you will be embarking mad!
Isn’t it better to be a nit’s wit than a wits nit?
Do not listen to just any old harp; they may be lyres
Who’s that dried up old coot playing for Dire Straits?
He’s the Sultana of Swing
(9/26/2011 9:47:00 AM)
One day an atheist was traveling in a wilderness he was very thirsty and hungry but his food and water was finished. there was not found any oasis to rest there or obtain any food or water. after a while he became hopeless and told himself : it is sounded this warm and endless wilderness hasn’t any plant and water and I am very needy for some food and water if this state continue I will die here alone and far of my family and friends it is better I believe in god and request him to send me some bread and water. So he looked at sky and said: o’ god I was in mistake you are there I was selfish and didn’t think about you, you are my creator and creator of this hell, I am thirsty and hungry forgive me and give me some food and water I would become very thankful. Suddenly he heard a sound beyond a hill he climbed it and when reached on top saw a buffalo has lied beside a stream down of that hill. That passenger became very happy, but his joy changed to fear when that buffalo noticed to him and became more wild and very angry.It got up and ran toward him atheist scared and started running away and that buffalo with tow long and sharp horn was following him up too. As he was escaping screamed : o’ god thank you for water and food but as you know I’m not a Matador!
(9/24/2011 4:01:00 PM)
Where there’s a will there’s a relative.
Is eating chicken from Kentucky just-a-fried?
THE FREEMANS FANTASTIC FACTS:
The real reason men are always scratching themselves is now about to be revealed: It’s because they’re itchy!
How long is a piece of string?
As long as it is!
An inflated ego gets flatter and flatter all the time.
Is airline food your air fare?
“A vagrant today was caught with nothing! ”
THE FREEMANS FANTASTIC FACTS:
To make an addendum you add an end on the end, um.
(9/23/2011 6:09:00 PM)
it is the first time that i want to write a comedy text here but as for I don't remember anything to say I write purposeless may I remember a thing to say gradually.well, begin from where? .... Humm... please wait.....I'm thinking.......No, as if I don't remember anything....... I had gone to a trip.....to a trip....well it is not very important that I had gone to a trip.....so let me find another theme......Humm......please don't hurry.....I am thinking again.....well, my car had broken down....I got a wrench and began repairing.... well, I saw a thing like autoclave first of all I guessed may it is the cause of failing because it was bigger than other elements when I disengaged it I noticed an rubber pipe is connected to it I tried to open it but when it did, 't open I pulled it out forcedly, suddenly another thing like
a gas regulator was separated from its location. I looked for to find out its location I saw two screw I supposed may its location be there so opened those
but suddenly a thing fell down under the car. I looked at under the car there was a box with two shaft I supposed it is relative to the car radio and that two shaft is antenna I told myself no matter I don't need to radio in this time
so I continued looking for the location of that part.... one hour late I had disconnected all my car motor parts entirely but I had not found out the location of that steely part yet....
(9/16/2011 5:13:00 PM)
It’s not my fault I ran over that old man last night. What idiot wears sunglasses in the middle of the night anyway? At least he won’t be beating that poor dog of his with that white stick anymore.
So you’re a masochist! No point beating yourself up over it.
How do you join together two great spans of time?
With epoch, see.
People mostly fall flat on their face because of an ego-trip!
(9/16/2011 5:11:00 PM)
Do the Spanish commit incest when they are sleeping with their siestas?
What do you call a safe after it has been broken into?
A ‘mostly safe’? A ‘nearly safe’? An ‘ex-safe’?
A feral cat is caught and thrown into the pound with twenty-one other cats. He is now in a ‘cat 22’ situation.
He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s still a tool
If you are late to gym class are you ‘leotardy’?
If malpractice is so bad then why let Mal practice?
In a Chinese factory two Wongs do make a light!
I know one really old horse joke but it’s too unicorny.
One type of bird can’t do it but Toucan!
The poor train station found out it was terminal
Are you having a baby shower? Try using a raincoat.
Politicians will do everything to avoid doing anything!
Why was the holy man going ape outside the monastery?
He lost his monk key.