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Nancy Benford Female, 45, United States (8/20/2012 10:17:00 PM)

Broken

So broken…
Used as a ‘token’, to manipulate…
Where was my better judgment to see my fate?

He chose me…
Did I fit the mold of ‘easy target’
when I shared my difficult journey with him when we met?

His smile won me…
The laughter in his eyes pulled me in
I’m certain he knew quite quickly that he’d win!

His tenderness filled me…
With just a touch, a hug, a kiss, I felt complete
Why, God…were he and I so very destined to meet?

His sarcasm hurt me…
It started as little ‘drips’ splashing in my head
But the droplets became full flow with all he said.

His tactics ‘trapped’ me…
His “I’m sorry” or “I’m just joking” became the norm
Yet as I cracked, I CHOSE to stay and began to take new form.

His wounds left scars…
Each burning deeper as my life began to burn
And soon his sister and his mother took their turn.

He made excuses…
All blame on me, it was my fault most times, you see…
because I was the one with so much insecurity.

He changed my mindset…
Somehow I loved this man with everything I am
Catering to his needs, not knowing it was a sham

He took my power…
With his web of lies and manipulative train of thought
I believe he never felt he would get caught.

He was unfaithful…
Not once, not twice, but more times than I could bear
Oh, God….why did I stay with him and give him my love and care?

He said, “I’m sorry”…
Every time and showed a face of true remorse
Yet in time, his infidelities and lies were back on course.

He really loves me…
In the only way his heart is able to love
But 7 years later, it was my PAIN that rose above

He wanted to change…
But this was after years of deception we called our life
And yet so damaged, I stayed true to being his loyal wife.

He was too late…
The damage to my soul was already done
His smiles at me no longer meant cherished fun.

He pushed me away…
It was so hard to gain the strength to finally leave
But I am strong, despite what my husband does believe.

He cried and pleaded…
And I joined him in our tearful fate
Wavering still in my decision, knowing in my heart, he was just too late

He let me go…
Yet I refused to cut him off so I could heal
I feared THE END of us would be the last emotion I’d ever feel

He kept on ‘dripping’…
Knowing just the words and tears to break me down
and EVERY TIME I had withdrawals and came around.

He changed my life…
In such a painful, sad and wrongful kind of way
And now I’m broken…my eyes have turned from sparkling blue to dreary gray.

He is my husband…
I’ve loved him from the moment that we met
and in the end, I refuse to live a life filled with regret.

He’s lost a treasure…
A heart that NEVER waivered or denied
a dedicated wife who continued to show pride.

He has no clue…
Just how painfully sad our lives will now be
each other’s laughter, now replaced with misery.

He wants to start over…
He swears he has become a new and better man
But I am broken and just not sure what my heart can still withstand

So very broken…
Although our demise has truly shattered my good heart
It’s now my time to heal and have a brand new start.

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  • Immanuel Santos (8/24/2012 7:35:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    'I feared THE END of us would be the last emotion I’d ever feel' -this is one of my favorite line of yours,10++++

  • Laurie Abc (8/21/2012 10:28:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    your poem is truly amazing, actually sounds like my life right now or what I think is my life right now

    Obviously write from experience.

    awesome

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