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... Dog God 8hate ... Dog God 8hate Male, 99, United States (8/8/2014 6:05:00 PM)

.
.
Caldron of Gold

who can fathom deceit with no sin
if they've known naught, but a din?
Can one see beyond the pious spew
and glean that sacred, no evil view?

i've fallen and fallen - an inestimable
descent. Too far down to abominable
extent...

torn... wracked... ravaged by
cabalistic gods too close to see
too far in an inexplicable degree

Yet, anagogic prominence
via eminent indigence
the down/up route,
an arcane decree
an excellent end - for me!

'$$$'
(___) - - caldron of gold


dg8

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  • Freshman - 1,226 Points Professor Plum (8/9/2014 12:46:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply
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    @Rizzo, get on board. I'm taking Dog to the top of the mountain with or without you people. I don't care if I have to strap him across my broad shoulders and carry him to the summit by myself. This guy is going to be famous. He's doing stuff that's never been done before. It's shocking, funny, creepy, and enigmatic all at the same time. He's Wordsworth and Creeley wrapped up into one big burrito. Get on board the train Rizzo before we leave without you.

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  • Freshman - 1,297 Points Mike Acker (8/9/2014 11:50:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    You wrote a silly poem. Deal with it!

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  • Rookie - 261 Points ... Dog God 8hate (8/9/2014 11:20:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Preachy? People suggest i'm ... " preachy?"
    my barbarous babbling plods skewed zones,
    it's perishable conceit ... i've not the aptitude
    for such civility, and of those ... more instructional,
    pious men ....

    Let the world save itself, i'm mounted on a stuffed horse,
    no bridle ... no saddle ... and it, doesn't ... move.

    ! - !
    o_o

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    • Rookie - 261 Points Professor Plum (8/9/2014 12:56:00 PM) Post reply

      " perishable conceit" PEOPLE, see what I mean??This guy can smash the words together like no other. It's like having a Cuisinart for words and phrases. You just dump the English language int ... more

  • Freshman - 1,226 Points Professor Plum (8/9/2014 9:38:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Who else draws you a little picture of the title at the end of the poem?Don't fear the 8hate. Come on baby, get on board the 8hate Train. Seasons don't fear the 8hate Train, nor do the wind, the summer, the rain, we can be like they are, come on baby, don't fear the 8hate Train, baby take my hand, don't fear the reefer, we'll be able to fly, don't fear the 8hate train....Well, you get the idea.

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    • Freshman - 1,226 Points Alexander Rizzo (8/9/2014 11:28:00 AM) Post reply

      come on plummy, no poet or poem is without flaws, doggy's got this faux-shakesperean diction thing going on that comes off extremely stilted; anyone who uses 'pious spewers' and is not being satirical ... more

  • Rookie - 261 Points ... Dog God 8hate (8/9/2014 9:36:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Mike: possibly strange inherence preempts my own?
    It's the same ol' story, what constitutes this supreme, " arrogating?"
    presence is not by my control, this true identity ... beyond my/me.
    that caldron at the bottom ...
    that caldron of gOLD ... yes Mike ... it's getting ... oooOLD ....

    .Y.

    Replies for this message:
    • Rookie - 261 Points Professor Plum (8/9/2014 9:44:00 AM) Post reply

      It's his instincts at work. He's like a shark who can smell blood from 2 miles away. He can't help it.

  • Rookie - 50 Points Alexander Rizzo (8/9/2014 8:49:00 AM) Post reply

    mr acker unfortunately has a point; some parts of the poem are overwritten, and it ends on a lilting note that seems out of place. some of the beginning comes off as preachy and bombastic:

    'can anyone see the pious spew?'

    sounds like a bad imitation of dostoyevsky. its not a 'stupid' poem, just needs toning down, tweaking. dog is a poet of great imagination, no question. head and shoulders over mr acker, but hey, its easy to sit back and throw stones than it is to write a strong poem

  • Rookie - 261 Points ... Dog God 8hate (8/9/2014 8:25:00 AM) Post reply

    .

    Yes, i agree Mister Plum, my comment on Mister Rizzo
    was hasty, not really researched... UGLY impetuosity
    creeps in and in shifted moments. Perceptions aren't clear.
    ..

  • Freshman - 1,297 Points Mike Acker (8/9/2014 2:51:00 AM) Post reply

    I ain't no expert in poetry, but I will tell you this: this is a stupid poem.
    Of course, GodDog is so " unique" and " out there" that it must be good.
    Well, I am going to go with my instinct.
    What we have here, gentlemen, is just another
    naked emperor.

    " an arcane decree
    an excellent end - for me! "
    .........WOW, man is that far out, or maybe, just maybe, just plain idiotic??! !

  • Freshman - 1,226 Points Professor Plum (8/8/2014 8:40:00 PM) Post reply

    Jesus, your comments are pretty good poems themselves (don't be too hard on Rizzo though, he's a good kid) .

    And, this poem is exquisite. Never known you to rhyme too much, but you pull it off in spades. People! ! if you're going to rhyme, call up Dog and get some friggin' advice. You rhyme when people least expect it. It'll be fine. No need to fear the rhyme anymore.

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