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  • Jefferson Carter (8/12/2014 8:08:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Whispers in the Wind
    Written by Adam M. Snow

    (Annotated by Jefferson Carter for usage errors)


    Those sway ardent winds of harmony, (makes no sense)



    I hear it among the wind. (among?No way, Jose)


    your whispers in the wind, (it refers to what?whispers?echoes?harmony, perhaps?pronoun reference confusion)
    echoes of sweet harmony,
    it guided me back to you.


    Let it get lost among the wind; (see above)

    and have it find the heart within my ear. (now THAT'S a kind of Lamontian bit of metaphorical silliness!)

    Let your words etch itself upon my beating heart, (pronoun reference error—itself is singular, words are plural)


    So, because of these basic mistakes, I'm almost convinced Adam Snow is one of our friendly ESL poets from Malaysia or Indonesia or Pakistan...

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  • Mike Acker (8/11/2014 3:52:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    A Peculiar Truth as reply

    Replies for this message:
    • Mike Acker (8/11/2014 3:53:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      A Peculiar Truth To gain everything, I would have to lose all things. A peculiar truth. Mike Acker

  • Adam M. Snow (8/11/2014 1:24:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies Stage

    Whispers in the Wind
    Written by Adam M. Snow

    Entrance me with your tune,
    that gentle voice of yours.
    Those sway ardent winds of harmony,
    an echoed symphony of your life;
    each word is wrapped in rhapsody,
    flowing with the wind.

    Your gentle voice, a breeze;
    your whisper - so angelically,
    echoes throughout the world.
    I hear it among the wind.
    I hear it over the thunder of my beating heart.
    I hear it calling to me.

    We travel separate roads of life,
    I got lost a time or two - perhaps more.
    Your voice helped me along the way;
    your whispers in the wind,
    echoes of sweet harmony,
    it guided me back to you.

    I want to hear it once more,
    the melody of your voice.
    Let it get lost among the wind;
    (that sway ardent winds of harmony)
    and have it find the heart within my ear.

    Let your words etch itself upon my beating heart,
    let them live forever upon my heart,
    its beats won't fade the memory,
    of what you've left in me.

    I hear it within a dream;
    it brings me peace;
    that caring voice of yours.
    A stage whisper in the wind;
    that soothing beat - an interval,
    an echoed symphony among the wind.

    Those treacherous words of love,
    " I do" and " love you"
    forever in my mind,
    forever in my heart.
    Forever lingering on - a song;
    your whisper in the wind,
    an echo - a sweet echo.

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    • Peter Stavropoulos (8/12/2014 7:36:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      For what it's worth, I like this, Adam. There is a genuineness in most of your work, and I particularly like the play between tune/voice/words in this poem. Peter

    • Jefferson Carter (8/12/2014 9:44:00 AM) Post reply | Read 2 replies Stage

      Adam, maybe I was wrong. You're not Lamont Palmer. Are you an ESL fellow? You write as if English is your not-very-well-mastered second language. Are you, perhaps, an Iranian? A Bolivian? If so, as ... more

  • Frank Ovid (8/11/2014 12:44:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Here's my entry for Hogg's contest:


    Ina Garten and Her Husband Have a Spat


    He gulped.
    She stood there with a knife,
    and the blade was poised
    above the steaming bread.
    She guffawed.
    “You’re going to slice it like
    Texas Toast, aren’t you?”
    He smirked.
    “You always have to slice it thick, ”
    He complained.
    The knife began its journey.
    “It’s too hot as well. You’re
    going to ruin the loaf, ”
    He scolded.
    She laughed heartily as the knife
    gashed the tender bread.
    Crumbs were floating in the air
    as if tied to fishing line.
    He smelled
    yeast as it poured out
    of the pumpernickel.
    Sobbing, he thought of when they
    used to sop up their peppered
    gravy with biscuits. “Wait,
    I haven’t even cut the cheese yet! ”
    He blurted.
    They stopped, giggled, and looked at each other.
    She put the knife in the sink carefully,
    and he hugged her from behind.

  • Gangadharan Nair Pulingat (8/11/2014 10:44:00 AM) Post reply Stage

    The poetry " Where the mind is free and head is held high........The great poem of the great poet Gurudev Rabindranatha Tagore is very beautiful and meaningful. I read the poem today oncemore. The ideas, beauty and perfection with a innermost feeling finds so great. Gurudev Tagore the great poet and his poetry are most important in literary world where perfect love of the universe and the power behind it upheld in such a noble thoughts.

  • Mike Acker (8/10/2014 9:55:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Sunday Morning as a reply to a persona's question...

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    • Mike Acker (8/11/2014 12:17:00 AM) Post reply Stage

      Sunday morning, a time once reserved for choosing paths, reading solemn omens, and misinterpreting ancient thought, now just another morning for contemplating endless space. All signposts ... more

  • Professor Plum (8/10/2014 8:40:00 PM) Post reply Stage

    Tailor Bell is now my favorite poet. Boy, was I wrong.

  • Jefferson Carter (8/10/2014 4:14:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

    Hoggster, your idea for a poetry contest might work on a saner site, but with all the delusional pseudonyms and rabidly angry poets here, such a contest would ignite a true firestorm of ridicule and viciousness.

    I try to be objective and somewhat temperate in my evaluation of others' work; however, how do you react gently to absolute crap? I can't do it and won't do it. Good poetry and a humble/respectful/educated attitude toward writing it are too important for me to dissemble.

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    • Jim Hogg (8/11/2014 1:39:00 AM) Post reply Stage

      Hey JC, .... .. I'm guessing that you were a bit gentler, more thoughtful, and tempered your criticism with praise when you were taking a class..! Plus, even when you are less sensitive than might b ... more

  • Gulsher John (8/10/2014 12:58:00 PM) Post reply | Read 2 replies Stage

    At dawn i paint
    my night dreams, to fill
    the vacant sky, like
    a rainbow, when it tunes the
    the nature's harp.
    But i forget
    the hovering mist that eclipsed
    its glamour and charm;
    and my impaired vision
    is spared, to harrow
    my ANEMIC thoughts,
    and thus
    forsake tranquility.

    p.s. still working on it and will love to have (from you all) some appropriate alterations/ corrections.

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    • F. J. Thomas (8/13/2014 10:16:00 AM) Post reply Stage

      It is quite beautiful; I'm finding the flow to be a tad off simply b/c the lines seem separated inconsistently. But the meaning is beautiful none-the-less.

    • Mike Acker (8/10/2014 2:03:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply Stage

      I like it. Some nits: " when it tunes the the nature's harp." s/b " when it tunes nature's harp" other than that I like the abstract nature of the poem....

  • Jim Hogg (8/10/2014 12:50:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies Stage

    My " set of suggestions" for a competition didn't exactly take off did it...! It was a last roll of the dice for me. Based on a futile hope that there might still be enough good human beings visiting this forum to rescue it by means of a poetry competition... but alas, most of the sensible people knew when to give it up as a bad job.. Long ago! ! . I'll also be deleting Tailor's poem. I should have known not to post it. Every time I've posted another member's poem in this forum the response has been the same: those who major on finding fault just cannot help themselves, mainly motivated of course by the juvenile need to elevate themselves above the target. .. Pathetic..

    Apologies to Mike and the Prof.

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    • Jim Hogg (8/10/2014 3:42:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies Stage

      Prof..... I've always been up for reasonable " discussion" . I've posted hundreds of comments on here over the years which support that claim, and I'd hope there are people who still post h ... more

    • Professor Plum (8/10/2014 2:26:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      PS, I just got off work, so I didn't see all the replies for the poem that was taken down. Maybe some were particularly negative?I didn't see that because it was already down when I logged on.

    • Professor Plum (8/10/2014 2:20:00 PM) Post reply Stage

      Jim, with all due respect, you're asking people to have a " discussion" about poetry, but if they disagree with your assessment of a poem (Tailor's) , then you immediately dismiss the indivi ... more

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