Poetics and Poetry Discussion

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  • Rookie Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (6/16/2005 7:58:00 AM) Post reply
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    all we go by is the final word of the previous line, given to us by Andrew. everything else will be unseen/unknown.

  • Rookie - 150 Points Poetry Hound (6/16/2005 7:36:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Let me get this straight. We submit a single line of any length and meter, and all we have to go on are the final words of all the previous lines, right?

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    • Rookie - 150 Points Michael Shepherd (6/16/2005 10:10:00 AM) Post reply

      Andy says 8-14 words to the line - it look better on PH screen within that line-length?

  • Rookie Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (6/16/2005 7:29:00 AM) Post reply

    OUTSTANDING! thanks for stepping up and moderating, Andrew! you beat me to it. i hope everybody agrees to participate. starting small is an excellent suggestion. put me down as the final contributor. i'm up to the challenge. :)

    in case any other Hunter stumbles across this Forum and wants to join in on the Corpse, this isn't an exclusive club so feel free. be sure to let Andrew know you want in.


  • Rookie Michael Shepherd (6/16/2005 6:37:00 AM) Post reply

    A posting of mine got lost just now: to say, forget the 4th line thing - if you remember you're the 4th,8th,12th,16th 'poster', and want to close the verse, so be it... it's just I noticed that on screen, four-line verses of whatever are more assimilable to the eye...

    We could get like city yuppies - adjusting our sleeping hours to the 24-hour clock...

  • Rookie Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (6/15/2005 1:51:00 PM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    from Wikipedia:

    Exquisite corpse (also known as Exquisite cadaver) is a method by which a collection of words or images are collectively assembled, the result being known as the exquisite corpse or cadavre exquis in French. It is a technique used by surrealists, and is based on an old parlour game called consequences in which players wrote in turn on a sheet of paper, folded it to conceal part of the writing, and then passed it to the next player for a further contribution.

    The exquisite corpse game is played by a group of people who write a composition in sequence. Each person is only allowed to see the end of what the previous person wrote. The name is derived from a phrase that occurred when the game was first played in French, 'Le cadavre exquis boira du nouveau vin.' ('The exquisite corpse will drink the new wine.') While initially sentences were constructed using the verbal method, poems and stories were later also written by it.

    one of my poetry groups has one at each gathering. we contribute to it when we arrive and read it to conclude the meeting. the results can be hysterically odd.

    the way we might be able to compose one online is thusly:

    someone could elect to start by writing the first line on their own, but only sharing the final word with the forum. anybody could grab that last word, compose the second line on their own and post their final word in the forum. and so on...

    after about 6 people or so get in on it, we could all call and post our respective lines in an Exquisite Corpse.

    i figured it might be fun, promote esprit de corps and all that jazz.


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  • Rookie Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (6/15/2005 10:08:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    fellow poets, has anybody been part of an Exquisite Corpse poem? i was trying to think of a practical way we could get one going online. any takers?

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    • Rookie Michael Shepherd (6/15/2005 11:42:00 AM) Post reply

      What the hell is that? Or will I find out all too soon? Or is it what somebody has already been posting - I can still feel the pins in the wax...? Is it the 'follow that' game? Elucidate!

  • Rookie Andrew Konisberg (6/15/2005 7:47:00 AM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    RE: Laura Cummings work. I've read through all of your posted poems, Laura. The poems I thought were most complete were: 'My Old China Doll', 'The Best Laid Schemes O' Mice and Men', 'I like my Daddy (age 6) ', and 'What Is A Poem'...these are your most mature pieces because they have a finished feel to them...I thought you could stretch 'My Old China Doll' out a bit and really capture the senses with that one. A number of your poems would benefit by you being braver with the imagery and metaphor...for example, 'Love is Not Enough', 'Nightmare In Truth', 'Running', 'The Way The Wind Blows', 'Walls...'...all of these poems show promise but are stilted because you are conservative in utilising metaphor and imagery. A bit of alliteration here and there would also help some of these poems leap out from the page more. I thought 'The Healer' is another example of a poem that could be really good if you 'went for it' instead of falling back on safe terrain with 'fluffy' words like soft, gentle, etc....I think you play it safe at times when you should be as daring as you can be because in other poems, you are not afraid to take a chance...particularly with subject matter. Whereas, 'I Like My Daddy (aged 6) ' I thought captured the subject perfectly, 'I like My Daddy (aged 16) ' (whilst more graphic) was too contrived and actually, very unconvincing....from people who I've known who have gone through that experience...never-the-less, I admire you for taking on a controversial subject and trying to write about it. Now, if you channelled that sense of daring into your descriptive powers, Laura, I think your work could fly off in really interesting directions. You need to use a spell-checker before you post because there are spelling mistakes everywhere and if you can fix this alongside having the ambition to reach out and take gambles with the way you describe things/ emotions/ places...I think we will begin to see the best of Laura Cummings. Your sense of rhythm will naturally improve with the more poetry that you read and write. That's my constructive opinion, Laura, but if you are aged 17-18 there is plenty of time to ring the changes and, at your age, there is some promise in certain pieces that I have mentioned.

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    • Rookie Lamont Palmer (6/15/2005 10:38:00 AM) Post reply

      When Andy suggests stretching oneself or being more daring, he doesnt mean enggaging in more gut-spilling or the telling every lurid detail of an incident; he means employing more daring language and ... more

    • Rookie Laura Cummings (6/15/2005 9:20:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      thankyou. the poems where i fall on 'safe terrain'..... this is because they are based on things that really happened and i fear it would be to dangerous to express myself fully in the way you describ ... more

    • Rookie Lamont Palmer (6/15/2005 8:21:00 AM) Post reply

      Andy, you are the critiquer among critiquers! I love to read your assessments.

  • Rookie Michael Shepherd (6/15/2005 6:25:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Laura, I'd back JC's comments here just about to the letter... but guys, how about our saying which poem of Laura's we most like - as a very practical directions sign for her future work?

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  • Rookie ***** ***** (6/14/2005 11:50:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Personally, I feel that if any poet says they are truly 'developed' then they are at a loss.. we are all learning and we will hopefully always be learning. It is only an arrogant (and a misguided) writer who thinks he/she is 'accomplished'. There really is no such thing. If a writer is guided by life and life is about constant change then noone is ever a fully fledged writer. We watch change and we write about it, wherein we change ourselves.

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    • Rookie Richard George (6/16/2005 2:08:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      I concur. I'm going through a period of finding out poems I wrote and rated highly 5 or 10 years ago are not as good as I thought. The important thing is not to be despondent and throw them away, but ... more

  • Rookie ***** ***** (6/14/2005 10:36:00 PM) Post reply

    I actually do think if someone hates ones work that they should have a voice... but voice it.. no to votes and yes to voices. If someone dislikes your work then they can say it for sure, but I encourage the old dame of 'constructive criticism' not just phenaw phenaw.. but real critique. Anyone interested? And Mister Saywell... when you want to say something silly, can you go to the back of the class please....

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