Poetics and Poetry Discussion


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  • Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (6/15/2005 10:08:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    fellow poets, has anybody been part of an Exquisite Corpse poem? i was trying to think of a practical way we could get one going online. any takers?

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    • Michael Shepherd (6/15/2005 11:42:00 AM) Post reply

      What the hell is that? Or will I find out all too soon? Or is it what somebody has already been posting - I can still feel the pins in the wax...? Is it the 'follow that' game? Elucidate!

  • Andrew Konisberg (6/15/2005 7:47:00 AM) Post reply | Read 3 replies

    RE: Laura Cummings work. I've read through all of your posted poems, Laura. The poems I thought were most complete were: 'My Old China Doll', 'The Best Laid Schemes O' Mice and Men', 'I like my Daddy (age 6) ', and 'What Is A Poem'...these are your most mature pieces because they have a finished feel to them...I thought you could stretch 'My Old China Doll' out a bit and really capture the senses with that one. A number of your poems would benefit by you being braver with the imagery and metaphor...for example, 'Love is Not Enough', 'Nightmare In Truth', 'Running', 'The Way The Wind Blows', 'Walls...'...all of these poems show promise but are stilted because you are conservative in utilising metaphor and imagery. A bit of alliteration here and there would also help some of these poems leap out from the page more. I thought 'The Healer' is another example of a poem that could be really good if you 'went for it' instead of falling back on safe terrain with 'fluffy' words like soft, gentle, etc....I think you play it safe at times when you should be as daring as you can be because in other poems, you are not afraid to take a chance...particularly with subject matter. Whereas, 'I Like My Daddy (aged 6) ' I thought captured the subject perfectly, 'I like My Daddy (aged 16) ' (whilst more graphic) was too contrived and actually, very unconvincing....from people who I've known who have gone through that experience...never-the-less, I admire you for taking on a controversial subject and trying to write about it. Now, if you channelled that sense of daring into your descriptive powers, Laura, I think your work could fly off in really interesting directions. You need to use a spell-checker before you post because there are spelling mistakes everywhere and if you can fix this alongside having the ambition to reach out and take gambles with the way you describe things/ emotions/ places...I think we will begin to see the best of Laura Cummings. Your sense of rhythm will naturally improve with the more poetry that you read and write. That's my constructive opinion, Laura, but if you are aged 17-18 there is plenty of time to ring the changes and, at your age, there is some promise in certain pieces that I have mentioned.

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    • Lamont Palmer (6/15/2005 10:38:00 AM) Post reply

      When Andy suggests stretching oneself or being more daring, he doesnt mean enggaging in more gut-spilling or the telling every lurid detail of an incident; he means employing more daring language and ... more

    • Laura Cummings (6/15/2005 9:20:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      thankyou. the poems where i fall on 'safe terrain'..... this is because they are based on things that really happened and i fear it would be to dangerous to express myself fully in the way you describ ... more

    • Lamont Palmer (6/15/2005 8:21:00 AM) Post reply

      Andy, you are the critiquer among critiquers! I love to read your assessments.

  • Rookie - 0 Points Michael Shepherd (6/15/2005 6:25:00 AM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Laura, I'd back JC's comments here just about to the letter... but guys, how about our saying which poem of Laura's we most like - as a very practical directions sign for her future work?

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  • Rookie - 0 Points ***** ***** (6/14/2005 11:50:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Personally, I feel that if any poet says they are truly 'developed' then they are at a loss.. we are all learning and we will hopefully always be learning. It is only an arrogant (and a misguided) writer who thinks he/she is 'accomplished'. There really is no such thing. If a writer is guided by life and life is about constant change then noone is ever a fully fledged writer. We watch change and we write about it, wherein we change ourselves.

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    • Richard George (6/16/2005 2:08:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

      I concur. I'm going through a period of finding out poems I wrote and rated highly 5 or 10 years ago are not as good as I thought. The important thing is not to be despondent and throw them away, but ... more

  • Rookie - 0 Points ***** ***** (6/14/2005 10:36:00 PM) Post reply

    I actually do think if someone hates ones work that they should have a voice... but voice it.. no to votes and yes to voices. If someone dislikes your work then they can say it for sure, but I encourage the old dame of 'constructive criticism' not just phenaw phenaw.. but real critique. Anyone interested? And Mister Saywell... when you want to say something silly, can you go to the back of the class please....

  • Rookie - 0 Points Allan James Saywell (6/14/2005 10:35:00 PM) Post reply

    sonja please tell me you are talking about a different allan, you seem obsessed
    with the idea that i am everywhere even in your soup

  • Rookie - 0 Points David Zvekic (6/14/2005 9:54:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Who thinks there should be a way to post a review ANONYMOUSLY?
    That way you can actually post a scathing critique without feeling self concious about it.

    I also propose the author of the poem have the power to delet any such anonymous reviews - so as to allow themselves the chance to read them and then fix their
    poem without having a permanent stigma attached.

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    • Andrew Konisberg (6/15/2005 5:40:00 AM) Post reply

      you can critique anonymously by going to 'my profiles' and changing your name. you will still be able to post as 'David Zvekic', only your name for leaving forum comments and poetry comments will be c ... more

  • Rookie - 0 Points Andrew Konisberg (6/14/2005 7:11:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    ...oh yes, and if anybody ever wants to leave some scathing comments/ critiques upon my poetry, feel free to do so. I am sincerely flattered that anybody would read anything I wrote. Changing tack, any thoughts on the curtal sonnet? I am taking a break for a bit but I will attempt a few when I return. I am trying to study sonnet forms and I think I could do something with the curtal sonnet...even though it seems to be treated as a curiosity piece. I've read some of Hopkins' curtal sonnets in the last couple of days...any thoughts?

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    • t. h. ashbury (6/14/2005 7:43:00 PM) Post reply

      scathing critiques and commentaries seem to be rare here, although i would tend to agree, tell me what you think, don't read my work and rate it a 1... not because i entirely internalize that #, altho ... more

  • Rookie - 0 Points ***** ***** (6/14/2005 6:31:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    sorry Andrea, but I do remember coming across you a while ago.. and wasn't your name Allan then?

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    • Andrew Konisberg (6/14/2005 7:13:00 PM) Post reply

      Sonja, are you suggesting that it is Allan and not Andrea that has a boyfriend? I find that to be a disturbing development; -)

  • Rookie - 0 Points Michael Shepherd (6/14/2005 5:28:00 AM) Post reply

    OK, let's take Jefferson up on this, in the most positive way.
    I say that Laura Cummings, at her age, is exactly the sort of person poemhunter is for, and whom we should be encouraging creatively. She has concern (read her two little time-bombs on sex abuse) and some serious material to deal with. She is working to make poetry of this. My advice to her on the poem she says 'Lamont hates' is that having written the 'material' she should now try to write a version of the poem as poetry. It just might teach her a lot about turning 'material' into a deeper 'content' within a poem.

    She's just the sort of person, I say, who needs intelligent comment. And she's tough enough to take what we might throw at her, so she say, lol!

    But in the end, whatever we say, just keep posting, Laura - it's for the readers to decide whether what you write is what they want to read...

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