Rhythm and Rhyme Workshop

Workshop for poetry written in traditional forms.
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Jim Valero Male, 62, Mexico (12/14/2005 12:00:00 PM)

Hello, I want to make a contribution to the 'Rhythm + Rhyme Workshop' with a satirical poem of mine. It's called 'What Was God Doing? '


What was God doing when he first blew up
the nought & single-handedly begot
the aught in that terrible Big Bang?

Was He pondering on Sin, Repentance & Redemption,
while huge galaxies & worlds unfurl'd in cosmic radiation?
Did He dwell on Moral Law, Sexual Continence,
& life-long Matrimony while the choirs of angels sang?

Did he think of Life & Death, of Misery & Pain,
as his mighty dreadful hand stirr'd the cosmic brew?
In what genial, timeless moment did God engineer his Hell?
Did He watch all sinners roast in a fancy grand preview?

Could his Infallible Reason fully fathom how insignificant
human life would be in the scheme of Cosmic Time?
Did He stop to think of Just & Fair as He wrote his Passion Play?
What rating will He give it when He writes the end review?

And when everything's been said & done,

Will God just rewind the tape in one terrible Big Crunch?
Will He have the Passion Play re-played as He enjoys his brunch?

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  • Rookie Karen Seyfert (1/27/2006 9:43:00 AM) Post reply
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    The first 3 stanzas spoke very strongly to me. I was 'talking back' to the poem as I read it. (Responses were, 'Of course not! Heaven forbid! Hell NO! ') That happens seldom for me. The last verses were not immediately so strong for me. But on second and third read I like them very much. The plaintive tone and slightly sarcastic question is something that comes fairly often to me as I write. I truly resonate to your very serious questions and your topic. Thank you for getting my attention. I cared enough to join the site in order to reply to you.

  • Rookie Mary Nagy (12/14/2005 8:40:00 PM) Post reply

    What a thought provoking poem Jim! Very nice. I often wonder about these things.........Why we are and What we are to God puzzles me. I hope we're judged individually and not as a ''group effort''!

  • Rookie - 200 Points Ernestine Northover (12/14/2005 3:50:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    Well Jim, I don't think you have left anything out in this poem. A deeply thought out write, unusual rhyming using the end of each stanza. making a deep read here. Well written, leaving one with that unanswered question - perhaps he'll try some other planet, he's probably had enough of us already. Thanks for putting it on the forum. Love Ernestine XXX

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    • Rookie - 200 Points Jim Valero (12/14/2005 5:43:00 PM) Post reply

      Right! We don't seem to have quite carried out the job to 'tend the garden, ' as God entrusted our pre-lapsarian fore-fathers in Paradise. We should have listened to our Mother Earth more closely. Let ... more

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